Welcome to Our News Archive

Yelp Takes Steps to Protect Restaurant Staff and Diners from Covid-19

WTF Is Delta Plus?!

Popular Fortnite Gamer RaulZito Arrested for Sexual Assaults on Minors

The World Burns, and We Can't Put It Out

Jordan Peele Reveals the Poster And Amazing Title for his Next Film

Olympic Officials Fired After Heinous Past Transgressions Surface

'Ted Lasso' News Round-Up: Because Lasso Is Life!

Completely Innocent Reasons to Leave a Loaded Rifle On the Hotel Windowsill

Yeeeesssss ... Paramount Drops Title And Casting For Next Transformers Film

Eric Clapton Is an Idiot

Sherri Tenpenny Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

The Fastly Outage Demonstrates Why the Internet Is Infrastructure

Jeff Bezos is Headed to Space, Threatens to Return

Idiot Mother Injures 5-Year-Old in Texas's 5th Accidental Shooting in 2 Weeks

The Steaks Are High in Food Supply Cybersecurity

Texas Continues Its Slide Down the Sanity Bell Curve

UFO Sightings Get the '60 Minutes' Treatment

Called It!

Congressional Republicans Try to Gaslight a Nation

Stop Hoarding Gas, People!

Hedging Our Bets

Our So-Called Stewards

A24 Releases a Second Trailer for 'The Green Knight,' Knowing We Are All Thirsty B*tches

Another Thing We Broke In The Pandemic

This POS Right Here

Convicted Murderer Derek Chauvin Files Appeal

It's Always the Ones You Most Suspect

Michael Collins, Apollo 11 Command Module Pilot, dies at 90

The Cicadas Are Coming

In Gayle King Interview, Newly Arrested SoHo Karen, Miya Ponsetto, Makes Things So Much Worse

Those Moderna (ModeRNA? Get It!) Numbers Out this Morning Are Outstanding

Pfizer May Apply for Emergency Authorization for Its Vaccine in Late November Because Science is Awesome

What the Pause in the Oxford University AstraZeneca Vaccine Trial Actually Means

Landlord Arrested For the Death of His Tenants, the Couple Found In A Suitcase By TikTok Users

Republicans Aren't The Ones Who Should Be Afraid

So, How's That Whole "Going Back To School In-Person" Working Out for America?

Actress Charlotte Kirk Involved in Affairs That Led to the Resignation of Two Studio Executives

Alonzo Brooks' Body Has Been Exhumed Due To The Re-Opening Of His 'Unsolved Mystery' Case

Dave Franco and Alison Brie Say They Wrote an ‘Elevated’ Romantic Comedy, Unaware the Genre is Already Refreshed by BIPOC Voices

'St. Louis Ken And Karen' McCloskey Each Charged With Felony Unlawful Use Of A Weapon

A Brief Status Update on Where We Stand on a Covid-19 Vaccine

Grant Imahara Of 'Mythbusters' And 'White Rabbit Project' Passes Away Unexpectedly At Age 49

UPDATED: A Body Has Been Found in the Lake Where 'Glee' Actress Naya Rivera Was Swimming

The Wayfair Child Trafficking Conspiracy Is Just A Runaway Theory Based On Cabinet Pricing

Lingering Questions In The 'Unsolved Mysteries' Case Of Rey Rivera

St. Louis 'Ken' Is Upset His Life Has 'Been Ruined' For Pointing An Automatic Weapon At Peaceful Protestors

The Golden State Killer Pleads Guilty, Wrapping Up The Decades Long Case With Justice Served

Disney's Splash Mountain Is Ditching 'Song of the South' For 'The Princess and the Frog'

Joel Schumacher, Who Gave Us All So Much More Than Just "Batman Forever" and "Batman And Robin" Dead At 80

The Police Deserve Our Respect And Support. And If You Think This Headline Is Actually Serious, Welcome To Pajiba

How To Help The Protestors On The Front Lines: An Incomplete List Of Places To Donate

When the Lake of the Ozarks and 'Ozark' Meet in a Pandemic Fueled Nightmare

Real Heroes Wear Lab Coats: The Latest on the Science Side of Things

In Memoriam: Unwavering in Morality and Kindness, Irrfan Khan Was a Gentleman Who Captured Your Heart With His Eyes

An Oregon Strip Club Has Gone 'Mad Max' to Save Its Business, and the Aesthetic is a Mood (NSFW-ish)

Dr. Anthony Fauci Offers a Glimmer of Hope After Results in Remdesivir Clinical Trial

In Images: What Re-Opening Looks Like Around the World

Social Distancing Works! But It's Much Easier in Some Places Than Others

The Latest Scientific Findings: Antibody Tests, Vaccines, Plus a Smoking Study out of France

Lululemon Apologizes After Art Director Shares Racist 'Bat Fried Rice' Design on Social Media

Serological Testing in Los Angeles Confirms Santa Clara Study, But Not Without Controversy

A Flood of New Coronavirus Data Sends Some Very Mixed Messages

We Remain, as Always, Cautiously Optimistic, But At Least There's a Rare Cause for Optimism Today

Vanity Fair's 'Dune' First Look Reminds Us of Oscar Isaac's Hotness, and This Movie's Middle Eastern Representation Problem

Here is One Seriously Encouraging Covid-19 Statistic Out of New York City Hospitals

Contact Tracing? There's An App for That (Or Soon Will Be, Thanks to Google and Apple)

Uplifting News You May Have Missed Amid All Of The Panic

Even Mount Everest Is Closing Because of Coronavirus

Disney's 'Hamilton' Movie Will Hit Theaters in 2021; Until Then, Why Don't You Revisit What the Original Broadway Cast is Up To?

After 11 Months, Michelle Carter Has Been Released from Prison. Good

Your Daily Reminder That Gigantic Media Corporations Are Bad and Cinema is Suffering, Sci-Fi Edition

Hot Take: Gender Reveals Shouldn't End With Explosions And Dead Spectators

John Witherspoon, Legendary Actor And Comedian, Dead At 77

If Tekashi 6ix9ine Did Move Into Witness Protection, I Have Some New Identities For Him

In Defending His Movie, 'Joker' Director Todd Phillips Needs to Keep Keanu's Name Out of His Mouth!

Psychologists Say Humans 'Could Adapt' To Cannibalism. Wait, What?

When A Pennywise Doll With Strange Markings On It Floated Into Her Yard, This Woman Set It Ablaze

Very Hot Dad Andy Serkis Confirms He Will Direct ‘Venom 2,’ a Movie That is Happening

A Missouri Man Found The Frozen Body Of A Baby In His Late Mother's Freezer

That Equifax Settlement May Not Be What It Appears

Apparently We Now Have To List Things You Shouldn’t Shove In Your Vagina

Rest In Peace Rutger Hauer (1944 - 2019)

Area 51 Raid Prompts Warning From The Military

Waddling Vagrants, Crab Invasions, And Meth Gators: Animal News Begging To Become A Creature Feature

Serial Women's Toilet Clogger Finally Caught

Giant Cruise Ship Crashes into Italian Dock

Chris Long Retires From The NFL

Spoilers: So, That Punching Down at Journalism Joke in ‘Long Shot’ Was Totally Unnecessary, Actually

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly About John Singleton

Who's Next On the Right-Wing Media's Hitlist? Teenage Climate Activist Greta Thunberg

Attempted Shaming of Diane Abbott For Drinking On Train Backfires on Twitter

Selfie Deaths: Yeah, Maybe We Should Stop Gleefully Reporting Them?

Today in 'I'm Just Gonna Leave This Headline Right Here': White Woman Opens 'Clean' Chinese Restaurant

The Single Most Horrific Headline You Will Read This Year

Okay, I Guess I'm Never Getting On a Boat Again Now Either

Metalheads With Kazoos Disrupt Westboro Baptist Church 'Protest'

'They Do Not Speak For Us': Emma Thompson and Other Female Celebrities in UK Pen Letter Condemning Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists

The Most Important, Devastating News Story That Nobody Is Talking About

R. Kelly Spent 3-Nights In Jail Then Went To McDonald's

'Inside Edition' Tried It With New York City Subway Fare Dodgers, With Expected Results

Today in 'Are You F***ing Kidding Me, White Capitalism?'

Is it a Ghost or a Dude Living in Your Closet? Pajiba Investigates.

Move Over Gritty, 2019’s Mascot is Roof Rat

Rihanna Had To Sue Her Dad To Get Him To Stop Profiting Off Her Name

Who the Hell Needs the Marvel Cinematic Universe When Superheroes Already Dance Among Us

50-Year-Old French Author Says Women Over 50 Are 'Too Old To Love'

Democrats Need to Learn From Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's '60 Minutes' Interview

Australia Is At It Again (Though America Won't Let Go Without a Fight)

Social Media Reacts After An Explosion Turned The Night Sky Blue In New York

Incurious, Privileged, Complicit: Centrists Will Be The Death Of Us All

What Becomes of the Brokenhearted? A Pajiba Break Up Guide For When You Leave Your Ghost-Pirate Husband

Hillary Clinton's Populism Interview Shows That She Has Learned Nothing. If She Runs in 2020 We Are Doomed

A Woman's Crime Was Discovered When Police Found A Tooth In Her Blender

The White House Correspondents' Dinner Will No Longer Feature Comedians. Good.

I'm Never Going Near the Ocean Again

Blood-Soaked Doctors Take to Twitter to Respond to the NRA Telling Them to Stay in Their Lane.

Man Loses Pet Snake, Donates Couch. You Know What Comes Next, Right?

Meghan McCain Needs To Shut The Entire F*ck Up

Oh Thank Godtopus They're Not Americans

I Couldn't Possibly Comment On the Painting That Trump Has Hung in the White House

Stop Praising Billionaires for Doing the Absolute Bare Minimum

Apple Caught On Camera Trying to Charge $1200 For Moving a Pin in a Laptop

What Will Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle Wear to the (Lesser) Royal Wedding This Week!?

'Siri, I'm Getting Pulled Over.' The App That Records The Police For You

Banker's Wife Fires Black Nanny After Accidentally Sending Her a Racist Text Message: 'NOOOOOOOOOOO ANOTHER BLACK PERSON'

No, Jane Fonda, We Don't Need To Have 'Empathy' and 'Radical Kinship' For Donald Trump

Missy Elliott Just Made Yours, Mine, and Kristen Bell's Day

Does Tom Cruise Believe in Ghosts?

Serena Williams Deserves Better

If There Was A Problem (Yo, He Caused It)

And The Next George Clooney Is...

Prince William Better Watch His Back

Nike is Evil. Colin Kaepernick is a Hero Who Deserves Their Endorsement. Both Of These Things Can Be True At The Same Time.

How Did THEY Get Tickets to Hamilton?

Is OK to Shoot Bigfoot?

Shocking Footage Emerges of the Mainstream Media Actually Doing Its Job

Does Ashley Benson Have a Secret Spin-Off-Directing Twin?

Highlights from 'The Daily Show' of the Late Senator John McCain

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle Took the Next Step, According to People.com

French Open Changes Dress Code Because HOW DARE SHE

Riverdale Cast Anthony Michael Hall in Their Breakfast Club Tribute. Here’s Who Else Needs to Drop by This Season

The Kids in The Hall Could Be Getting a New Comedy Show

University Study Finds America's Most Sexist State

Black Journalist Fired After White Colleagues Complained About Her Sharing Article About White Women's Tears On Her Private Facebook Page

Your Weekly Round-Up Of Uplifting News

A Terrifying Viral Game Has Been Linked to the Suicide of a 12-Year-Old

Convicted Rapist Brock Turner Loses His Appeal, Still A Convicted Rapist

Lance Bass Got Locked Out Of "The Brady Bunch" House

Your Weekly Round-Up of Uplifting News

I... I Have No Words.

YouTube And Facebook Don't Seem To Mind Alex Jones' Batshit Theories On Their Platforms

Gwyneth Paltrow Will Begrudgingly Hire A Fact-Checker For Goop

This is the Face Of a Goddamn Hero

Hey! You Could (Probably) Own This Faux Dick Cheney Torture Memorabilia!

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair Was On TV Last Night Talking About Brexit, And People Have Feelings.

Organising Your Brexit Cupboard: Let’s Get Stockpiling!

Sacha Baron Cohen Should Apparently Wrap It Up After Being Recognized By This SoCal Gun Shop Owner

Mutiny In Parliament: Theresa May's Brexit Plans Are Attacked From All Sides

Did Queen Elizabeth Troll Donald Trump -- With Brooches?

Late Night Tries To Make Sense Of Trump's Ass-Kissing Summit With Putin

Just Lots Of People Dancing To Kate Bush, Because The World Needs Some Joy

What the F*ck Are You Doing Elon Musk?

Sacha Baron Cohen Thinks Sarah Palin Was Hit By A 'Bullshit' Grenade And Wants His Apology

Elon Musk Is Kind Of A Dick

North Korea Clearly Did Not Enjoy The Elton John Gift

Your Weekly Roundup of Uplifting News

Nigel Farage is Upset London is Planning to Greet Donald Trump With Giant 'Toddler Trump' Balloon

A Much-Needed Roundup of Uplifting News

Happy Eid al-Fitr! Let Me Tell You About Eid al-Fitr!

Fighting Fire With Light: A Rainbow Monument In Warsaw Gets New Life

I Mean, Come On, America: Off-Duty FBI Agent Accidentally Shoots Bystander During Dance-Off

Family of Black Man Killed by Police Awarded 4 Cents in Damages

He Made The Jump! The Rock Battles Fire, Terrorists And Gravity In The Latest Trailer For 'Skyscraper'

Trump Announced His Intent To Pardon Dinesh D’Souza, Because OF COURSE HE WILL

Judge Rules in Favour of Parents Wishing to Evict 30-Year Old Son Who Refuses to Move Out of Family Home

English Mayor Goes Viral After Unorthodox Inauguration Photo

The Windrush Scandal: The Betrayal Of A Generation

Conan O'Brien's Late-Night Show Will Be Cut To 30 Minutes (And This Is a Good Thing)

Canadian Restaurant Fined For Ordering Black Customers To Pay Upfront

The Bizarre Nature of the Golden State Killer's Arrest May Trigger Online Privacy Concerns

An Exhausted Patton Oswalt Discusses Michelle McNamara's Book and the Arrest of the Golden State Killer on 'Late Night'

Police May Finally Have Caught The Golden State Killer (A.K.A. The East Area Rapist)

'Crazy Rich Asians' Trailer: Constance Wu Finally Gets the Hollywood Leading Role She So Crazy Deserves

Verne Troyer, Best Known For His Role As Mini-Me, Has Died

The DNC Sues Russia, the Trump Campaign, and Wikileaks

Morning Briefing: Well, That Backfired Spectacularly on the Republicans, Didn't It?

The New Customer Dilemma: What's the Etiquette on Tipping for Take-Out Orders?

Denzel's 'Equalizer 2' Trailer Gives Russell Crowe A Very Obscure Box-Office Record

It's The Final 'Deadpool 2' Trailer And We Finally Get To Officially Meet the X-Force Members

"Enough Is Enough": Labour MPs Deliver Blistering Speeches During Debate On Anti-Semitism

Ted Cruz Might Very Well Lose His Senate Re-Election Bid

What's Contaminating Your Counterfeit Makeup? (Hint: It Might Be Poop)

Fed Up with the Conspiracy Theories, Sandy Hook Parents File Suit Against Alex Jones

Sean Hannity, Michael Cohen, and What Is Really at Stake

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