Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Mike Redmond | News | February 5, 2026
Chris Pratt stopped by this week’s Apple TV event where he unveiled his upcoming movie for the streamer, Way of the Warrior Kid. Based on the book by former Navy SEAL Jocko Willink, the synopsis sounds like Pratt’s treacly, post-election sermon brought to life. Only instead of a dad holding court over the dinner table and something about a wrestling coach, a steel-eyed veteran teaches his nephew how to wreck some bullies and become a REAL MAN™ in the process.
Via THR:
It centers on Marc, who is experiencing a nightmare middle school experience. A good kid who is bullied by his classmates, he struggles with feeling like he’s behind in everything, from academics and physical education to making friends. His life changes when his Navy SEAL uncle Jake, played by Pratt, comes to spend the summer with him while recuperating from an injury. Jake devises an ambitious plan called “Operation Warrior Kid” to help Marc defend himself. In the process, Jake shows Marc what real courage is while facing down his own demons.
If that sounds an awful lot like the Karate Kid but with better opportunities for tactical brand cross-promotion, don’t take my word for it.
“[It’s] this generation’s Karate Kid,” Pratt proudly told the press, “with an inspiring message that we can all connect to if you’ve ever felt weak or bullied or unsure of where your life is going, or in need of leadership, or in need of a mentor.”
As for what sort of lessons a Navy SEAL can teach a young boy about handling bullies, I don’t know how covering up civilian deaths will apply in this situation. People tend to notice when kids go missing from schools. It’s a whole thing.
More importantly, what even is Pratt’s career now? He just made a crappy movie for Amazon where an AI judge falls in love with him, and now, he’s making even more military p*rn. We can’t be more than a year out from him starring in “Jesus Doesn’t Have a Tail,” the true story of a raw milk farmer who comes back to life after seeing The Lord in a bathing suit. Evolution won’t know what hit it.
