Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Mike Redmond | News | January 20, 2026
Starfleet Academy isn’t even a week old and already it’s been conscripted into the never-ending woke wars, which terrifyingly, goes all the way to the top these days. Case in point, America’s shadow president, Stephen Miller, took time away from drowning puppies for being too Mexican to rant about the new Star Trek series. His issue? A scene where three women have the audacity to do space stuff instead of cuckolding him with Elon Musk. That’s what they’re here for, right?
“Tragic,” Miller hissed at an AI programmed to translate his snake thoughts into human words. “But it’s not too late for @paramountplus to save the franchise. Step 1: Reconcile with @WilliamShatner and give him total creative control.”
Well, William Shatner heard Stephen’s cries. If you’re familiar at all with Captain Kirk in his twilight years, this situation could have easily gone south. He has been a bit of a crank to put it mildly. However, Shatner has no love for Trump going back to his first administration, and the situation did not improve following last year’s obsession with annexing Canada. In short, Weasel Boy barked up the wrong tree because why learn anything about a subject when you can just storm in and shriek, “Men are handsome and strong and always right!”
Anyway, Shatner does have some concerns about Starfleet Academy, but they are entirely eyewear-based. Via Twitter:
I am so on the same page with you @StephenM! The fact that they have not cure Hyperopia by the 32rd Century is an abysmal oversight on the writers!😤Also @paramountplus needs to up the budget because I’m sure that a well oiled organization like Starfleet in the distant future could afford more than one pair of glasses for at least this hyperopic bridge crew. 🤷🏼 Do they pass the glasses 👓 around while piloting the ship‽ 🙄 Shame on the line producers!
🤔 That is what you meant, right‽ 😉👍🏻 I am ready to assume command of the series! Call me! 🤙🏻🙂!
In Stephen Miller’s defense — *watches as laptop bursts into flames* — it must be very strange dealing with an elderly man whose capable of independent thought. Shatner is freaking 94, 15 years older than Trump, and he just dunked all over Coked Out Wormtongue like he was standing still. We’re gonna nuke Quebec now, but you gotta savor these moments when you can.
