Welcome to the Author Archive for Miscellaneous

'The Avengers' Remade Spectacle in its Own Image

Netflix's 'Our Father' Sells Itself Short by Trying to be a Horror Movie Instead of a Documentary

Netflix's 'The Takedown' Tries and Fails to Have its Cake and Eat It

'A Very British Scandal' Doesn’t Try to Pick Up Its Fallen Woman

Apple TV’s 'Roar' Is More of a Whimper

'Cabin in the Woods' As a Precursor to Elevated Horror

Nevermore to Roam: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Netflix’s 'The Bubble' Asks, 'What if that ‘Imagine’ Video Was a Two-Hour Movie?'

'The Worst Person in the World' Is About the Beauty and Tragedy of the Possible

How One Man Makes Over $65,000 Dollars a Year Writing Songs About Poop

After Six Years, 'Undertale' Is Still One of the Greatest Games Ever Made

'Squid Game,' But Only the Dumb Bits

HBO Max 'Small Town News: KPVM Pahrump' Review: Proof That ‘Small’ isn’t Synonymous With ‘Unimportant’

Review: ‘Sublet’ is a Gentle Romantic Dramedy About the Gulf Between Old and Young Queer Generations

Review: 'Starstruck' on HBO Max is Bridget Jones in a Reverse 'Notting Hill'

Pride Streaming Guide: The Best LGBTQIA Movies And TV Available For June 2021

The 2020 Pajiba Ten: The 10 Brainiest, Most Lustful Celebrities on the Planet

The Best TV Shows of 2020

What If Posters For the Worst Movies of 2020 Used Pull Quotes from Pajiba?

The Most Fun TV Shows(ish) of 2020

Pajiba 10 FYC: The Title, the Premise, and the Cast of this Movie

FKA twigs Sues Ex-Boyfriend Shia LaBeouf, Citing 'Relentless Abuse'

Do You Like Good Music? Not Anymore

Trailer: The Hills Are Alive With 'The Sound of Metal'

The World Reacts to the Devastating Loss of Chadwick Boseman

The 10 Most Popular Netflix Original Movies of All Time

Pajiba Love, Juneteenth Edition: Congresswoman Pressley Would Like a Word, Mr. Barr

So Much Grief

Donald Trump 'Discusses' George Floyd and Police Violence, In His Own Words [Graphic Video]

Jim And Pam Were Not Meant To Be 💔

Evangeline Lilly Is Sorry

'Scream' Co-Stars Matthew Lillard and Courteney Cox Have Daughters Named Coco, Who Are Inspiring for Very Different Reasons Today

Chris Evans and His Brother Provide the Regrettable Quarantine Content We Need

'Birds of Prey' (Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Box Office and Love the Beaver)

Review: 'Slings and Arrows' Is a Ruthlessly Efficient Killing Machine

A Love Letter to the Drooling Tower of Stupid That Is Netflix's 'Another Life'

Miley Cyrus Opens Up About Her Divorce to Liam Hemsworth, Refutes Cheating Allegations

The 2019 Pajiba Ten: The 10 Brainiest, Most Lustful Celebrities on the Planet

'The Magicians' Explores Daddy Issues with '80s Anthems and Demon Spirits

Presentation Matters: Olivia Munn's Misguided Attack of GoFugYourself

'The Magicians' Season 4 Finale Is a Master's Class in How NOT to Treat Queer Characters

A Stripping Playlist For Fallen TLC "Star" Jon Gosselin's Beefcake Debut

Was There Ever a Better Time for a TV Adaptation of 'The Handmaid’s Tale'?

How Liberals in Britain View Donald Trump

What Did Trump Say To Melania?

Better Than Google or Jeeves, It's Ask Bekka and Jodi!

An Open Letter To Warner Bros CEO Kevin Tsujihara About Layoffs, Zack Snyder, and Donuts

Heroes On A Half Shell With Fudge Sauce And Extra Anchovies

Heavier Than A Needle But Lighter Than A Longclaw

H.P. Lovecraft Teaches the Craft of Love

Oh, Baby, Rowsdower Saves Us.

Eloquent Eloquence: Figgy's Swan Song

Eloquent Eloquence: Best Comments of the Week

Probably Not The Worst Performances You'll See From Carl Lewis This Year

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the day

Eloquent Eloquence Comments of the Week

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Children Are The Future Unless We Stop Them Now

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Never Doubt My Commitment to Sparkle Motion

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Project Runway Season 9: How do you fix a broken show?

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

If You Gave 11-Year-Old Boys Red Bull, Porn And History Channel Documentaries, You'd Get Sucker Punch

Eloquent Eloquence Returns! (Kinda)

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

In An Alternate Universe, Michael Bay Is A Realtor

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Putting Boot to Ass

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Comment of the Day: Tonight, We Dine on Scrota!

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

You Could Be Drinking A Known Felon

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

Eloquent Eloquence Comment of the Day

I Got Your "Angel" Right Here

Garfunkel and Oates Get Douched

Yukon Ho!

Khan In Sixty Seconds

Nine Women (And One Man) That Make Men Melt

Single White Male

Dear Valentine's Day

Love Is A Beautiful Thing

Do What This Man Says

Like Football And Dick Jokes?

And It's Only Going To Get Uglier

I Slam In The Back Of My Dragula

MENDOZZZZAAAAAA!

Free P****!

This Is Nightcrawler

You Sexy Like A Chocolate Covered Strawberry

It's About To Get Meat Up In This Biznatch

Finally Someone Is Thinking of the Children

Your Words Are Infectious

Bobby McFerrin Is Cooler Than You

Money For Nothing

A Dream Realized

Hobbes Fights Like You Wish You Could Fight

There Is No More Unreason Left

Of Donkey Kong And Record Players

Wear Eye Protection

I Understand That You Have Good Intentions

Lobo's Paramilitary Christmas

Ain't No Shame In My Game

You're A Mean One, Kenny Loggins

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow (In Moderation)

An Instant Christmas Classic

THIS WOMAN MUST BE STOPPED!

I'm Sorry, Where Are You Again?

We Don't Need No Water

A Big Ol' Middle Finger to HIV

This Is Better Than Happy Life Day

F*cking Spiders... Who Even Likes Spiders?

This Christmas I Want An Ice Pick To The Ear Drum

Suck It, Jack Thompson

The 2010 Golden Douchebag Awards

White Men Can Dance

I Approve Of All Of This

Rock Out With Your Cock Out

The Internet Hates You

I'm Becoming Cliff Huxtable

Eff Yeah, Torgo!

MGMT Album Or Terrible Sonic Fan-Art? You Decide!

Sooooooo... Aliens?

Who Doesn't Love Katy Perry

That Boy is Sharp as a Bowling Ball

Oh, You Have An iPhone Too?

The Dancing Dreidels Means It's Hanukkah!

The Canonization Of St. Xtina

Music For Potter Nerds

That's Not Much Of A Happy Ending Now Is It? *Rimshot!*

Happy Regretsgiving!

Meh, He's Still Funnier Than Fred Armisen

I Hate You, Bobby Flay

The Cost of Higher Education

F*cking Clowns, Man. F*cking Clowns.

Hey, Not Every Dog Can Be Lassie, Okay?

F*ck Shaking Your Tush On The Catwalk

This Is What You Get For Being Too Dumb For Life

Your Flame Wars Displease Me

Dear Chapters

Apparently, "Famewhore" Is Now A Viable Career Choice

Sit... Stay... Good Boy

The Story Of Butthole Day

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

Stroking His Ego 140-Characters At A Time

Please Come Back Rick Moranis... We'll Bake You Cookies!

MUPPETGASM

The Biggest Box Office Bomb Ever

MEGA-SHARK LIVES ON!

YES. More Of This.

Canada Loves Her Queens

Schadenfreude... Sweet, Sweet Schadenfreude

Want To Keep Your Man? Learn To Use A Machine Gun.

Is Your Girl A Republican

Friends Don't Let Friends Drink And Blog

Sanity: 1. Fear: 0.

Happy Halloween, Eloquents...

Canadian Horror Films You May Not Have Seen But Probably Should

Ten Horror Movie Creatures You Probably Don't Want Watching You Sleep

Hello, Terrifying New Nightmares...

So What Are You Wearing?

Sweet Zombie Jesus!

What The Hell Are You Supposed To Be?

Down In A Hole Losing My Soul

For Frak's Sake, They're Just Crunch Berries! MOVE YOUR DAMN CART!

A Little Something For Your Dreams

It's Okay Candy Corn, We Still Love You Too

Where's Your God Now, Comic Book Geeks?

Got Ghosts?

Go F*ck A Virtual Sheep, Farmville

I'm Still Crazy

And The Grammy For The Best Rap Album Goes To

Well How Else Am I Supposed To Carry My Wine Glass? In My Hand?

I, For One, Welcome Our New GIF Overlords

Yes, I'm Sure Your Baby Appreciates This

Halloween Hijinx

R.I.P. (Straight) Porn

California Dreaming

Killer Croc Is The New Joker

Less Than Meets The Eye

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

You Do Realize You're Basically A Professional Bully, Right?

Sheer Damn Manliness

I Will Break Your Knees, Chickadee

Look At Me I'm Leatherface

You're Stuck With Me, Bitches

Chr*st! Lighten Up!

Oh Andy Rooney... You So Cuh-Ray-Zay

Let's Go Exploring

Still Less Embarrassing Than 30 Seconds To Mars

It Gets Better

If They Take My Stapler Then I’ll Set The Office On Fire

People Died Today. Sorry About That.

Fatherhood is Awesome

Hello Sally! Goodbye, Sally.

Knowledge of Non-Knowledge is Power

I've Made A Huge Mistake

Fan-Made Done Right

This Is The Closest We'll Ever Get To "Jon's Hamm"

Affluent Effluent

Anyone Up For A Very Joel McHale Christmas?!

Men: Shave and Get Drunk

Ass Ass Baby

Eat A Bag Of Sh*t, Cancer

Death of the Hipster Douche

Do You Have A Vagina? Congratulations! Lifetime Just Set You Back 20 Years.

If You Touch Yourself, God Will Throw You Into A Firepit Forever

Do They Only Stand By Ignorance?

Eye Patches: Officially Back In Style

"Deadpool" Will Be Filthy

I Got A Pocket Full Of Sunshine

Guess Who's Gonna Be Eating Peach's "Cake" Tonight?

No, Seriously: What The F*ck Is A Nikki Minaj?

...Oh, F*ck The What.

Juggalos: How The F**k do They Work?

Oh Yeah Baby, Stick Your Fallack In My Rugen

I Want To Try This At Home

Star Wars VII

Find Out What Happens When Pajibans Stop Being Nice, And Start Being Drunk

Thanks A Lot Toad, Now I Don't Like Vaginas Anymore

Sex, Lies and Videotape

Social Interaction Is For Suckers

Are You The Goddess

Oh, You're About To Learn Who You're Gonna Call... Ghostbusters

Robocop Has Feelings

NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE

It's Rumorin' Time!

Shut The F*ck Up, Kids! The Moving Picture Box Is On!

Personally, I'm A Fan Of The Reverse Light Cycle

Mmmmmm, Meat Popsicles

Legen... Wait For It...

OH HAI, THROW ME IN TEH FUCKING GARBGE PLZ? KTHXBAI!

An Apology

Oh Look, Her Meal Ticket Is Free

I'm More Atari Too

Know What My Favourite Mexican Holiday Is? Cinco DENIED-O!

America Can't Find Its Hat

Mad Men With Mutants?

WATCH ME F*CK!!!

Haha, It's Funny Because Your Life Is Over

Your Husband Is Probably Banging Other Husbands

Inspiration From Tragedy

Don't Trust the Darkness, Don't Trust the Light

Kristen Schaal Makes You Think About Alf Eating P*ssy

I'm F**king Ray Bradbury

So, Dawn's In Trouble? Must Be Tuesday

Little Miss Muffet Sat on Her Tuffet

It's The Night Of A Thousand Douches!

The Dude Abides

A Bit More Childhood Trauma

Not THAT Illusionist

CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE! AACK!

I Wish I Had A Slide And A White Board

NBC Makes Bad Decisions

We've Finally Found The Worst Thing On The Internet!

Violence Makes Ronald a Sad Clown

You Still Suck, Weezer

Dustin Will Soon Be Out of A Job

Women Don't Hate You, Sam Rockwell

I Hate You All Thiiiiiiiiiis Much!

The Story of Gary Jormph-Jomp

There Is Never A Bad Time For Ryan Reynolds

Mowing Lawns and Eating Candy

Meet The New Boss

Suck A D*ck, Proposition 8

Ray Stevens Could Never Have Imagined This

YO NEW YORKER, I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, AND I'MMA LET YOU FINISH...

Timothy Olyphant Will Sex You Up

Your Move, Sharks. Your Move.

Ok, Now I'm Not Going

The Poutine: A Mix of Cheese, Fries, Gravy and Shame

Bicycle Bicycle, You Are My Bicycle

AMC's Next Project

Right, Like the Guy in the $3,000 Suit Will Escape on Anything Else. COME ON!

Only In My Dreams

Dungeons & Dragons + D*ldos = You're Welcome

That's a Lot of Hairball

The Power of Christ Compels Him

Shut the F*ck Up, Cindy Lou Who

Como Se Dice "Blood and Titties"?

Today's Forecast: Cloudy With a Chance of Apocalypse

Movie Theater Heaven and Hell

Tron 2: Electric Boogaloo (Hey That Kinda Fits!)

Are You Owning Your Gay Yet?

George Lucas Needs to Recruit

Guess He's Not the Last!

Australia Does Not Heart Gay Zombies

I'm on a Horse

KNIFE TO THE EYE!

Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200

Dustin Has Officially Lost It

The Rock Returns

IT'S A TRAP!

I Will Not Make a Joke About Blaculas

Sharks Are Terrifying and They Will Eat Your Ass

It Can't Be More Boring Than Benjamin Button

Armond White: Dipsh*t Reviews For Dumbass People

I Dunno, I Think I'd Like Him When He's Angry

Kill Yourself, Spencer Pratt

They're Just Sad Because They Realized That Soccer Sucks

This Summer, The Bellringer Tolls for Thee

That Is One F*ckable Corpse

Do We Still Care About Woody Allen?

Yes Yes, Very Nice, But Where Are the Hats Like A Shark's Fin?

That "We Just Dodged a Bullet" Feeling

If I Had a Dick, This Is Where I'd Tell You to Suck It

First the Facebook Movie, Now This

Well, There Goes the Colombian Economy

I Will Give You Your Links, But You Will Blow Me First

Sarsgaard Goes Bluegraass

Happy Canada Day, 12-Year-Old Lesbian!

Paranormal Activity 2: In My Pants?

Lady Gaga Has Been Knighted With a Pork Sword

A Grande No-Fat Skim F*ck You With Extra Foam

Part "Zodiac," Part "Pi?"

Awwwww, Chris Brown Needs a WHAAAAAmbulance

Sorry, Neill Blomkamp Fans

Sean Connery Wants That Beaver

Doctor Who?

The Marveltank Rolls On

Don't Call It "The Facebook Movie"

Who's Your Favorite Superhero?

Can Someone Explain the Giant Sandwich?

Boobs and Superheroes!

It Doesn't Help That You Are a Thumbhead!

The Intellectual Property That Cannot Die

No, You Suck!

Wizard, Doctor, Vampire Hunter

Wherein I Ramble About Comics

Ratner Ruins Your Great-Great-Grandparents' Childhood

Hammer of the Gods!

An '80s Cartoon Relaunch May Not Suck

A Victory For Terrible Television

Crooones!

Being Kung Fu Pandavich?

The H Stands for Hilarious!

I Wish This Was About "Lost" Too.

I Have No Shame!

You Can't Just Say P*ssy?

I'm a Cool Mom! Right, Regina?

The Ant Is His Penis?

No More "Heroes"

District 10?

Dropping the Cougar Like John Mellencamp

I Wanna Hold Your Braaaiiiiiinsss

101 Classic Jokes About Fortune Telling and Cocaine

Hooray for (the) Hollywood (Sign)

Greed, for Lack of a Better Word, Is Monopolymovie

Where's the Annual Love for Ferngully, Bio-Dome and Medicine Man?

Do Movie Geeks Really Hate Gwyneth Paltrow?

Volcano 2: The Inconvenience

Roger Ebert or Harry Knowles: Choose Your Side

Putting Donkey in a Donkey Show: One Shrek of a PR Stunt!

Another Step Closer to a Calvin and Hobbes Movie

Caught in the Web: the Sticky Situation of Movie Blogs

Game Over: No More Need for an ID4 Sequel

Eh, I'm Still Waiting for the Holomax Shark Movie

The Runaways Movie You Want Gets a Director You Don't Want

Tipping My Hat to the New Constitution

Submit Your Requests For Hollywood Apologies Right Here

Whoa, Take 'er Easy There, Pilgrim

Sam Rockwell Is the New Rodney Dangerfield

Added Reason to Be Embarrassed By the Twilight Poster On Your Wall

Cyrus the Virus and Guido the Ferrari Join Transformers 3

Star Wars for Babies. So Why Don't You Cry About It?

Abe Vigoda to Still Play Gargamel In My Dreams

Breaking: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo and Probably Rowlf to Also Be in New Muppet Movie

Ben Kingsley to Play the James Cameron of Silent Cinema

Of Course Leonardo Da Vinci Was an Action Hero

Remembering Corey Haim

Disney Concludes That Guys Don't Like Hairy Girls

If We Can't Say Anything Nice About the Oscars...

Warner Bros. Evokes Fond Memories of the Kiddie Pool

The Academy Shall Banish You For Treason Against Its King

Angelina Jolie Wants to Drink Your Milkshake

I Use Chatroulette to Avoid Freddy Krueger

Krasinski as Cap? Is This Some Kind of Office Prank?

Die Hard On an Earth?

Is Ian McShane the Most Perfect Person to Play Blackbeard in Pirates of the Caribbean 4?

Casting the (Canadian) Kurt Cobain Biopic

Taylor Lautner Gets Another Movie For His Birthday

The Great Muppet Cameos

Still Not Getting My Hopes Up for the Fate of Superman

How Hollywood Should Advertise During the Super Bowl

Best Ideas for That 'Watchmen' Sequel That'll Apparently Never Happen

Will a Directing Oscar for Kathryn Bigelow Be Good for Women?

In Space, Nobody Can Hear You Whining About Oscar Snubs

Miramax Films: 1979-2010

Wait, So This iPad Thing Can Play Movies or No?

Jakesully Vants To Suck Your Blood

Who Wants Gremlins 3D?

Sundance Twenty Ten - Are We There Yet?

Shouldn't the Avatar Porno Be In 3D?

People Surprisingly Think MacGruber Looks Good

Reactions to the Golden Globes Actually Include Stuff Other Than Boob Jokes

So Captain America is the New Spider-Man?

Doesn't Anybody Mind Ivan Reitman?

Suggestions for the Spider-Man Reboot

These Are Not the Best Screenplays You're Looking For

Does Taylor Lautner Deserve $7.5 Million?

How Will Sam Mendes Improve or Ruin James Bond?

Will (You Care If) Avatar Surpass(es) Titanic As Highest Grossing Film of All Time?

Ishtar State of Mind

Just Because There Has to Be an Avatar Backlash

Talking Dog Movies Are a Staple of American Cinema

Bloggers Like Little Girls

Fun with Posters

Double Duty at the Golden Globes Gots Everybody Excited

James Cameron to Show His Ex-Wife Who's Still Boss King of the World

Looking Forward to the Date with an Angel Remake

Recalling a Little Movie from 1982 1983

John Malkovich to Feed on a Dead Carcass of a Franchise

This Is How You Do Christmas, Robert Zemeckis

The Master Has Already Been Named One of the Best Films of the '10s.

It's Like If Godard Made a Superhero Movie, Man

Harry Potter and the Fashions of Deathly Hallows

Imagine This Music Video as a Movie

Avatar's Marketing Strategy Is Genius

Where Else in a Movie's Universe Would You Like to Go?

Don't Let the Academy Tell You Which Documentaries to See

The Britney Spears Pepsi Commercial Where She Praises Italian Cinema

Either Universal is Racist or Stars DO Matter

Is It Live, or Is It Multiplex?

Spouting Off on Spoilers

Nobody Was Even a Little Curious About the Oldboy Remake?

Some Don't Like It Hot

At the RISK of Sounding Like an Optimist

Expectations for the Steve and Alec Show

Concerned Fans Worry More for Owen Wilson Than for Their Childhoods

Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson to Be the New Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson

SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THIS RIGHT GODDAMN NOW.

Once Again, Making the Incredible Seem Absolutely Believable

Ridiculously, Absurdly, Terrifically Craptastic

Vampires Who Poop? That's The Del Toro Way!

Dazzling Historical Fiction

I Am Created Shiva, The Destroyer

Not Content With Crapping On One Sci-Franchise, Huh?

The Original White Shadow Returns

There's No Crying In Martial Arts!

Hey, Can A Motherf***er Burn Some Books?

Hitman 2 Writer Signs Onto Another Game Movie

Some Comics Can Be Done Live-Action

Heather Graham. That Is All.

Killers Ahoy!

It Just Doesn't Matter If We Win or Lose

Charles Dickens and the Man with No Scalp

A Glimpse into the Mind of a Schizophrenic

Starting and Then Stopping / Taking Off and Landing