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Probably Not The Worst Performances You'll See From Carl Lewis This Year

By Miscellaneous | Miscellaneous | April 14, 2011 |

By Miscellaneous | Miscellaneous | April 14, 2011 |

If you’re an American over the age of 30 or a fan of track and field, you know that Carl Lewis is simply one of the most amazing athletes to ever walk the Earth.

Winner of 10 Olympic medals, the last in 1996 at the age of 35, and 10 World Championship medals, he was named Athlete of the Year by Track and Field News in 1982, 1983 and 1984. Lewis set world records in the 100 m, 4 x 100 m and 4 x 200 m relays and his world record in the indoor long jump has stood since 1984. His 65 consecutive victories in the long jump achieved over a span of 10 years is one of the sport’s longest undefeated streaks.

Lewis became a household name at the Los Angeles games in 1984 when he won four gold medals, equaling the immortal Jesse Owens. He was a physical marvel.

Unfortunately, he had to retire someday and things have been less glorious since then.

Lewis, a native of Willingboro, NJ where he currently volunteers as a high school track coach, Monday announced his candidacy for State Senate. He’s challenging an incumbent Republican hack, but the GOP is strong in that part of South Jersey and simple incompetence has never been a reason for New Jerseyians to vote out a politician.

So, in honor of the man who aspires to be your 8th District senator, let’s take a look at some of the less auspicious moments of his post-athletic career.

Lewis, like a lot of athletes, wanted a career in pictures. But, well. It didn’t go well.

Vote Carl Lewis. He’ll slap higher taxes like he slaps his bitches.

Lewis also fancies, or maybe fancied, himself a singer. And like many celebrities who aim for multiplatform superstardom, his fame afforded him opportunites he probably wasn’t ready for. Whoo boy, was he not ready.

Vote Carl Lewis. He’ll keep trying, no matter what.

I couldn’t find the whole video, but I LOVE the shot of Michael Jordan laughing into his jacket.

This last one just defies expectation. It’s … It’s just awful. But if you want to see a very muscular Carl Lewis working out in a unitard and wearing too much eyeliner while singing (poorly) over a beat laid down by a Casio synthesizer, then this is the video for you.

Vote Carl Lewis. When it comes to government waste, he’ll “Break It Up.”

Good luck, Carl. You may not be the hero New Jersey wants, but you’re for damn sure the hero New Jersey deserves.

Jason Harris met Carl Lewis once. He’s taller than you’d expect.

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