Out of all the transformers on the original cartoon series, Bumblebee was the one that I disliked the most. He was always getting into situations where the rest of the Autobots had to risk life and limb to save his whiny, undersized and underpowered ass from getting blown off because he was forever going somewhere he shouldn’t and getting busted up. Some will argue that he was small so that he could be a scout and to them I say, “Fuck that noise”. Scouts don’t get caught damn near every time they go on a mission. If this pussy were in any type of military unit his bitch ass would have been discharged a long time ago. He got his ass kicked by Rumble for fuck’s sake. Rumble. A fucking cassette tape! I bet if you pushed play while Rumble is all up inside Soundwave’s chest junk you’d hear a selection of 80’s power ballads. That’s how much of a pussy Bumblebee is; he got his ass beat by a mix-tape featuring Foreigner.
Viewing the first installment of Michael Bay’s rectal cleansing of the transformers franchise didn’t change my perception at all. Bumblebitch was still made out to be an incompetent jackass who could only beat on robots smaller than he was. Although he did help LaDouche score some tail so at least he had a purpose. I can’t speak to how he was depicted in Transformers 2: Tits and Explosions as I fell asleep ten minutes into the movie and, thankfully, didn’t awaken until the end credits were rolling. I would assume that he found himself entangled in an especially sticky spider web that only a flaming Optimus Prime could laser him out of.
It would appear that we’re in for more of the same with Transformers 3: Tittier & Splodier! given the video below. In it we see Bumblefucks get his ass handed to him by a regular, run of the mill police SUV. If any of the other Autobots had hit that SUV, it would have been smashed into a million pieces and mined for usable metals. Instead, Bumblenuts is has his face ripped off and the SUV has nary a scratch.
Hopefully that’s a death shroud they’re putting over the honey-making motherfucker.