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Violence Makes Ronald a Sad Clown

By Miscellaneous | Miscellaneous | August 10, 2010 |

By Miscellaneous | Miscellaneous | August 10, 2010 |

I fucking loathe McDonalds. I don’t take my kids there, I don’t condone working there, hell, I don’t even contribute to Ronald McDonald House. It’s vile stuff that I don’t believe is fit for consumption by livestock much less human beings. That being said, I’m forced to eat that tripe once or twice every year. As a matter of fact, I was forced to eat there twice two weeks ago, as it was the only thing available that didn’t involve a half hour detour to the other side of a city I was passing through. I won’t take this opportunity to regale you with the science fiction-esque experience my digestive tract had after consuming a Sodium McMuffin and a Quarter Colon Spelunker with cheese suffice to say that you all should have had shares in Charmin.

The one exception I will make in my “avoid McDonalds at all costs” policy is for the McNugget. Oh, McNugget, you disturbingly tasty deep fried chunk of golden simulated chicken puree, how I love thee. I seriously don’t know what it is about the damn things but I steal them from my kids whenever they get them. I know what they are - or rather aren’t - but I just can’t help myself. Apparently I’m not the only one. According to the You Tube caption:

“A Toledo woman, Melodi Dushane, loves McNuggets. According to a Toledo police report, she loves them so much that when she found out a local McDonald’s was not serving them at 6:30 AM (that’s breakfast menu time, sister), she became outraged and punched the drive-thru attendant.”

Where’s the proof? Oh, right here:

That woman will cut a bitch for some Nuggets! Sadly, there is no sound so here’s an assignment: write up a script for that video. The one that entertains me the most gets a prize. The prize may only be me fantasizing about you in a McNugget costume later this evening during “me” time, but it’s more than you’d have otherwise.