Day 11: Let's Play a Game of Mortal, Imaginary or Sex Robot - 25 Days of 'Love Actually'
It’s that favorite game for kids of all ages! Let’s play Mortal, Imaginary or Sex Robot: Love Actually Edition! It also works with Westworld and the Trump Cabinet.
Prime Minister Hugh Grant: Mortal.
Natalie: She’s a sex robot but she’s a good sex robot. There are two camps.
Bellino the Castrato from the David Tennant Casanova: Imaginary. She speaks to no one else, only introduces him to people. Definitely his conscience and his conscience is kind of a fat-shaming asshole.
Emma Thompson: Mortal BUT ALSO A HUMAN ANGEL.
Alan Rickman: Mortal and a total fuck.
Mia: EVIL SEX ROBOT SET ON CHAOS AND WORLD DOMINATION.
Laura Linney: Tragic mortal.
Hot Karl: Sex robot failing epically at his sex task.
Laura Linney’s brother: What’s the opposite of a sex robot? Cockblock robot.
Rowan Atkinson: Imaginary. I don’t care that the movie thinks he’s an adorable angel. He’s imaginary.
Martin Freeman: Mortal.
Blonde Judy: Imaginary. Hear me out: Judy and the entire fancy set are figments of Martin Freeman’s imagination because he can’t cope with the fact he’s doing seedy scary crush porn. Judy is actually a cockroach or small hamster. Probably. Definitely.
Garbage Colin: Ugh, real.
Garbage Colin’s Friend Tony: Good sex robot.
The American Sex Humans: Imaginary sex robots. Because neither imaginary humans or real sex robots would want any part of Garbage Colin especially that part.
Keira Knightley: Mortal.
Chiwetel Ejiofor: Mortal.
Andrew Lincoln: He was mortal BUT HE’S BEEN DEAD FOR 12 YEARS. HE IS A MISCHIEVOUS GHOST BOY WHO LOVES PRANKS AND KEIRA KNIGHTLEY AND THAT IS WHY KEIRA KNIGHTLEY KISSED HIM, SO THAT HE COULD FINALLY EXIT THIS REALM AND GO TO TURTLENECK HEAVEN.
Andrew Lincoln’s Santa Butt Art: Imaginary. Only children and sad adults can see it.
Liam Neeson: Mortal.
Sam: Mortal angel child who has airport powers.
American Joanna Singer Girl: Definitely a robot but not a sex robot because SHE IS A CHILD.
Claudia Schiffer: A Julia-Roberts-in-Ocean’s-12-robot.
Colin Firth: Mortal.
Aurelia: Might as well be imaginary, they’ve never actually spoken.
Colin Firth’s Garbage Girlfriend and Brother: Imaginary robots from the chaos robot troop.
President Billy Bob: SEX ROBOT.
All the children in the school pageant: Imaginary. MOST OF THIS MOVIE IS FIGMENTRY, A JACOB’S LADDER DYING BREATH, THE END OF ALL THINGS.
Octopus Boy: Mortal but imagining this whole movie from his snow globe.
Me: Imaginary. I’VE ALWAYS BEEN IMAGINARY.
Get entertainment, celebrity and politics updates via Facebook or Twitter. Buy Pajiba merch at the Pajiba Store.