The merger of Warner Brothers and Discovery has led to some wild rumors. Some of them were true, like the new mega-company deciding to shelve a 90 million-dollar Batgirl movie for a tax break. While we’re still waiting to see how the other rumors shake out, one has been disproven. If you thought Stephen Colbert would be leaving his late-night spot for a desk at CNN, you can hold your horses.

Colbert’s friend and former producer Chris Licht is the current CEO of CNN. The rumor, started by radaronline.com, suggested that Licht was attempting to sway Colbert over to CNN for help in “rescuing” the network. The article cites two anonymous sources. What we do know about them is that neither one is Stephen Colbert. He gleefully denies the rumor, taking shots at the site’s copy along the way. He even takes a jab at his old friend Licht, comparing his new look to that of a MegaPastor.

The fact is, Colbert would be useless on CNN. He, and other political commentators like him, know that they are better suited when not tied directly to a news network. If he takes a primetime spot on CNN, as someone who is not a journalist, what sets him aside from Hannity or Carlson? If he wants to be taken seriously, he has to take himself less seriously and not be put in a position like that.

Luckily, Colbert has some self-control. The last thing we need is him pretending to be something that he isn’t. Unless that thing is some kind of Elf or Halfling. Then, ya know, go off, Stephen.

Andrew lives in NYC. You can follow him on Twitter.