I just don’t have the required level of self-loathing to subject myself to the Presidential Debates tonight. I do, however, have a gigantic list of other things to do instead of watching it, because if I take that much Xanax in one night? No refills for me for a while.
1. Watch Halloween Haunted House/Maze Walkthroughs on YouTube
I can’t get to Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando, so I watch what I can via shaky handheld cameras. You can also try Knott’s Scary Farm and then fall down a YouTube rabbit hole.
2. Watch Any of the Horror Choices on Amazon
3. Color In An Adult Coloring Book
4. Figure Out Which 3 Fictional Characters Describe You
5. Look At Pretty Cosplay on epbot
Or look at awesome crafts.
6. Buy and Watch MST3K Episodes on Rifftrax
Or on YouTube, if you’re into the whole being unable to pay thing.
7. Get Lost In the /askreddit Sub-reddit
8. Watch the Atlanta Falcons Play the New Orleans Saints
If you do this, please send all scoring vibes to Mohamed Sanu, as he is my only hope to get a win in Fantasy Football this week. Fucking Brandon Marshall and Andy Dalton.
9. Play Mass Effect. Or Mass Effect 2. Or Mass Effect 3. Or Borderlands 2.
Romance Garrus if you are FemShep. It’s just a more satisfying relationship than that with Thane. Trust me.
10. Turn On “Gangnam Style” and Dance Until You Can’t Stop Laughing
11. Take Your Fall/Winter Clothes Out of Storage
12. Watch Makeup Tutorials. GOTH MAKEUP TUTORIALS.
13. Ponder the Existence of Gas Station Sushi
14. Choose A Pen Name and Start Writing Weird Romance Novels
15. Make An Obsession Wall to Pinpoint Exactly Where Jared Leto Lost Us
16. Start Brainstorming Halloween Costumes
17. Pray To Your Preferred Deity That Tom Hanks Never Lets Us Down
20. Drink Some More