Let those among us who don’t think about fictional character’s ability to satisfy you (in that way) cast the first stone. I am not above such pastimes, and I come to you today to discuss the newest character that I believe could get it. I speak, of course, of the Mandalorian, from The Mandalorian, the new space cowboy show on Disney+ which you already watched if you had any inclination to do so.
Yes, this may seem like a safer choice than my last public declaration of “get it” status for my dearly departed Night King who went out like a damn McGuffin instead of the stone-cold smoldering creature of the night that he was.
I am in to the Mandalorian, but he’d have to keep his helmet on.
Yes, I know that is sacrilege because Pedro Pascal, who is hot, plays him—I am not talking about the person behind the mask (who can get it, obviously is anyone questioning that?!) I’m talking about the fictional bounty hunter in space, and that is a very important distinction to make here.
I’ll explain why.
The Mandalorian is cloaked in mystery. Dude doesn’t talk about how he’s going to take care of business. He just takes care of business. There’s no lengthy expositional monologues about what his motivations are. He just exists. The helmet adds to this. What does he look like under it? Who knows? Who cares? The helmet is part of the whole thing. Trust me on this.
Mystery is hot, as long as it’s not about solving your own death in the afterlife. Ergo, the more mystery the Mandalorian has, the hotter this all is.
It’s Probably Complicated to Take Off.
Look, when it’s time to get down, it’s time. If you watched the first ep, you’d know that Mandalorians, never take their helmet off. Ergo, he probably has no idea how to do so, efficiently (and as an added yuck factor, it probably stinks under there, too.) Just leave it on! Why not? How often do you get a chance like this? Take it, friend, and enjoy.
Personal Code of Ethics.
There is nothing worse when getting busy that the person you’re with is softly weeping because they’re violating all their personal ethics. That’s not fun, that’s not what any of this is about. You don’t want the person you’re getting down with to be upset they’re letting their entire race down, do you? No! Keep the helmet on, that way everyone is happy. That’s just called being a conscientious hookup, friend.
I know I’m not alone in the Mandalorian thirst. I’m sure there are at least dozens of you out there. Show yourself and be counted, friends. Your day in the sun has finally arrived!
Header Image Source: Disney+