A Fiery Jon Stewart Returns to Unload on Joe Biden

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | February 13, 2024 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | February 13, 2024 |

Those who have been waiting, hoping, and praying that Jon Stewart would return and set the world right again with a blistering 20-minute rant about Donald Trump may have been disappointed by his first episode back. It’s not that he didn’t go hard on Donald Trump; it’s more that he didn’t take it easy on Joe Biden. (He didn’t take it easy on Barack Obama, either, particularly in his second term).

The gist of the segment, and it is vintage Jon Stewart, is that both of the leading Presidential candidates have cognitive issues that are expected of people their age, men who four years ago were the oldest people to ever run for office. And now it’s four years later!

It’s not that Stewart is both-sidesing it here, either, but he is saying that — just because the other guy is a dangerous lunatic (clearly experiencing cognitive decline) — doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t mention the fact that our guy is also clearly experiencing cognitive decline. And Stewart has the video evidence to prove it.

“Look, Joe Biden isn’t Donald Trump,” Stewart concludes. “He hasn’t had as many indictments, or fraudulent businesses, or even been convicted of sexual assault, or ordered to pay defamation, or had his charities disbanded, or stiffed a shitton of blue-collar workers … should we even get to the grab the p**sy stuff? Probably not.

“But, the stakes of this election don’t make Donald Trump’s opponent less subject to scrutiny. It actually makes him more subject to scrutiny. If the Barbarians are at the Gate, you want Conan standing on the ramparts, not ‘Chocolate Chip cookie’ guy.”

He finishes up with a plea to acknowledge that there are days that matter outside of November 5th. “If your guy loses, bad things might happen, but the country is not over. And if your guy wins, the country is in no way saved … the work of making this world one that you would prefer to live in is a lunch pail f**king job. Day in, day out, where thousands of committed, anonymous, smart and dedicated people bang on closed doors and pick up those who have fallen and grind away on issues until they get a positive result.

“The good news is, I’m not saying you don’t have to worry about who wins the election. I’m saying you have to worry about every day before it and every day after it. Forever.”

Good to have him back.