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Eloquent Eloquence: Stuff Your Turkey with a Hair Metal Band and Call It TURDOKKEN

By Dustin Rowles | Eloquent Eloquence | November 25, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | Eloquent Eloquence | November 25, 2011 |

Eloquent Eloquence is a compilation of the ten best comments of the week. Comments in film reviews are not eligible for inclusion.

10. Joker your a joker Rpattz is not a god. He made millions off of Twilight so he need to stfu. Kristen had said all of that she would of been attack Yes or No? you over grown women need to go feed your husband and take off your blinders for a foot face little ungrateful silly little boy. - Kelly

9. I don’t know about the urban myth that is “Vagina Dentata”, but that pic of Ashton and Demi is concrete proof that teeth can be found in assholes. - bleujayone

8. I named my kid Trystyn, and then Isolde the rights to my story to TMZ. - mswas

7. This year, I’m stuffing a turkey with a hair metal band and calling it TURDOKKEN. — bev rage

6. joanna robinson needs to stop making lists about dudes. this site used to be about movies, now it feels like jezebel. so disappointing. — jesus christ

This site used to be about movies? — Three-nineteen

Jezebel makes lists of dudes? — Ghisent

Jesus Christ needs to stop reading and commenting on blogs about movies. He used to be about helping people help themselves, now he sounds like Glenn Beck. So disappointing. - RobP

5. Thanks for the heads up.

My spinoff script-Krill Bill - should be finished tomorrow. - clocker

4. Yes. A thespian scene should definitely be a priority to develop the characters and show the range of the actresses.

Theron - But, soft! what flashlight through yonder shattered window breaks?
It is the east, and Elizabeth is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious facehugger,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal liver is but sick and green and acidic
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.

Rapace - Oh Meredith, oh Meredith! wherefore art thou M41A1 Pulse Rifle Meredith?
Deny thy Newt and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be ensconced in secreted resin.

Theron - Let us scissor.- admin

3. It’s hard to take your “manliness” seriously when you’re wearing Leather Battle Panties. - StoatCat

2. “I liked the part when the krill danced his feet on the ice to break it at the end…”

— E, 7 years old


1. Miramax Pictures Presents - The Black Widower

A Scarlett Johansson Film

Starring Scarlett Johansson as Natalie Wood
Charming Potato as Robert Wagner
Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Captain Davern
Morgan Freeman as Detective Composite
and Christopher Walken as Himself

A beautiful actress. Her dashing husband. He wouldn’t…or Wood he?

Summer 2013 - Greedy

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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