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The Jon Hamm Problem: You Can't Be Handsome And Funny. Pick One.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (71)



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Last year I saw that spindly, pale comedic genius Conan O’Brien honored at the San Francisco Sketchfest. He was joined on stage by Patton Oswalt and Andy Richter. None of them, by their own admission, conventionally good looking fellas. After several bottles of wine (consumed onstage…to our delight), the subject of Jon Hamm came up. Richter stayed out of it as Patton and O’Brien railed in mock outrage against The Powers That Be that a man so physically perfect could be so preternaturally hilarious. This is the fuzzy, hard to hear highlight of O’Brien’s rant. That “diamond puss” bit gets me every time.

Because, in order to be funny you need to be ugly, right? Like, there has to be something wrong and dark in your life to drive you to comedy, yes? Comedy is the one thing the portly, bearded guys and knobby-kneed introverts have over the Jon Hamm’s of the world. That’s the only reason guys like Jonah Hill and Zach Galifianakis are worthy of our attention. Cause they can crack a joke? Well a) F*ck that. I like portly bearded guys and spindly gents. And b) Well, alas, this simply isn’t true. Because “hot” dudes can be funny too. Oh you knew this was coming. We here at Pajiba never do tit without the tat. So here, for your pleasure, are twelve hot dudes with wicked comedic timing. Interestingly, a lot of the guys featured here also popped up on that *ssholes list I wrote last week. I guess if you’re handsome and funny, the least you can do is be a d*ck about it. And because of no good, very bad double standards, I wasn’t able to find as many photos of these dudes “mincing about in underwear” (to quote a commenter from last night). Nonetheless, I tried to give you as much lurid eye candy as I could. Because I care.

Josh Hopkins—“Cougar Town”
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Jon Hamm—“SNL” “30 Rock” “Mad Men”
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Neil Patrick Harris—“How I Met Your Mother”
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Ryan Kwanten—“True Blood”
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Damon Wayans Jr.—“Happy Endings”
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Garret Dillahunt—“Raising Hope” (I do not endorse whatever weird fetishistic stigmata/Richie Tennenbaum thing Dillahunt has going on his wrist in this photo.)
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Rob Lowe—“Parks and Recreation” (I’m more of an Adam Scott girl myself, but The Hedgehog is no match for Lowe in the abs department.)
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Nathan Fillion—“Castle”
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Ryan McPartlin—“Chuck”
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John Krasinski—“The Office” (Like sands through the hourglass, I have no idea what is going on in this photo.)
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Joel McHale and Donald Glover—“Community” (This is as close as I could get to the lesbionic splendor of Jacobs and Brie. Enjoy. Oh, sure, it’s no McHale in man panties, but it’ll do.)
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Joanna Robinson, for the record, thinks Conan O’Brien is ferociously attractive. Oh, also, salad is murder? Crawl up my ass, if you would be so kind.









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Comments

Garret Dillahunt. "Private hell!"

Posted by: Shonda at November 23, 2011 12:10 AM

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMM!

You should still post a photo of Adam Scott. Just for funsies. For your ol' pal Figgy.

Posted by: figgy at November 23, 2011 12:11 AM

and you left adam scott off....why?

Posted by: maxwell at November 23, 2011 12:15 AM

Yeah, GOD, Joanna, how dare you?!

*pickets*

*considers sleeping*

(BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE A HEDGEHOG. A dreamy, sarcastic, nerdy hedgehog. Also, I'm pretty f*cking impressed I spelled Galifianakis right on the first try. It's the little things, people.--JR)

Posted by: figgy at November 23, 2011 12:18 AM

there is absolutely nothing funny about Rob Lowe. there are only shit stained nails on a chalk board when he opens his douchewazzle of a yapper.

nails.

chalk.

board.

poop.

I will take Adam hedgehog sex on a motherfucking stick Scott ANY day of the week. HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN "TELL ME YOU LOVE ME?!?!" Sooooo much sex! I mean, yeah, there was actually a lot of sex going on, but Mr. Scott raised the sex-ness of the sex to new sex-filled levels. I don't care how many sex tapes RbLowe made/kes. Dude is no longer hot and has never been funny.

Shitsnacks, you're KILLING me here with the Lowe, JoRo!

Posted by: beet salad at November 23, 2011 12:43 AM

other than that, i will take the rest of this list to bed.

Posted by: beet salad at November 23, 2011 12:44 AM

How the holy hell does Rob Lowe not age? The man doesn't change. Is there some nefarious secret? I can't think of a single 80's heart throb (off the top of my head) who still looks that damn good.

Posted by: Kala at November 23, 2011 12:48 AM

Paul Rudd.
Paul Rudd.
Paul Rudd.

Posted by: Scott at November 23, 2011 1:00 AM

Where's Paul Rudd? Is this list restricted to people currently on tv?

Posted by: Xoch at November 23, 2011 1:30 AM

All of them are just strikingly dashing men indeed...and I'm a female-loving man

Posted by: BrandonBombay at November 23, 2011 1:39 AM

I LOVE funny Hamm! He makes any episode of Doug Loves Movies better while completely off-script. Dude is FUNNY. In a wierd way, I almost feel bad that he has been pidgeinholed as "handsome guy", since he is so much more layable as "funny guy".

Also, in light of recent pop culture events, I never thought I'd say this, but funny Liam Neeson just eclipsed sexy Liam Neeson this week, and I think we are all better people for it.

As long as he doesn't jump the shark by making a movie with Aniston or Heigl.

Posted by: Skyler Durden at November 23, 2011 1:50 AM

Mmmmm Captain Awesome

Posted by: Even Stevens at November 23, 2011 1:53 AM

I don't care what anybody says but John Krasinski is not attractive. He has that dopey idiot look about him I just can't get past.

Posted by: Holly at November 23, 2011 2:22 AM

Erm, The Hedgehog is Ron Jeremy's nick. It shall not be usurped.

The really hot don't need to develop skills like a sense of humor.

Posted by: Protoguy at November 23, 2011 2:30 AM

Funny, hot: Josh Hopkins, NPH, Damon Wayans Jr. (!), Garrett Dillahunt (!!), JOEL McHALE AND DONALD GLOVER!! (That photo is now my screen saver)
Funny: Nathan Fillion
Hot: Jon Hamm
Not funny nor hot: Rob Lowe
The other three: I do not care about.
/total objectification of men

Posted by: severine at November 23, 2011 4:06 AM

That picture of Joel McHale and Donald Glover is doing funny things to me...

God this whole list is making me go weird in the head. Except for John Krasinski. I'm with Holly on this one: Not hot!

Posted by: Phedre at November 23, 2011 5:12 AM

Damien Lewis - Have I Got News for You

Jay Harrington - Better Off Ted

Lee Pace - Wonderfalls and Pushing Daisies

Nick Offerman, Chris Pratt, and Adam Scott - Parks and Recreation


Posted by: reaperslogic at November 23, 2011 5:37 AM

No Josh Charles? Boooooo

Posted by: dragonfruit at November 23, 2011 5:55 AM

Dean Winters

Posted by: snapnhiss at November 23, 2011 6:49 AM

If you haven't heard Hamm laughing to the tune of the MASH theme on Comedy Bang Bang, you haven't lived.

Posted by: Arran at November 23, 2011 6:57 AM

Oh you did not look hard enough for Ryan Kwanten sexy pics. Enough of this coy shit- google Ryan Kwanten naked for god's sake!!

Posted by: SAS at November 23, 2011 6:58 AM

Was there no hot man-on-man action between Jon Hamm and John Slattery on Mad Men to toss up there?

Posted by: Robert at November 23, 2011 8:24 AM

Hey, I'm funny and good looking.

To me.

Posted by: Jettison at November 23, 2011 8:35 AM

There is just not enough Ryan Devlin in my life.

Posted by: MelBivDevoe at November 23, 2011 9:21 AM

Because, in order to be funny you need to be ugly, right?

That's what my mom says after she laughs at my jokes at least.

And I know I'm a bit late in saying this, but I'm glad I'm not the only who was pleased to see Capt. Awesome show up in the old Greendale ad.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 23, 2011 9:32 AM

Erm, The Hedgehog is Ron Jeremy's nick. It shall not be usurped.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I must usurp Protoguy. Ron Jeremy of the Repugnant Peendoodle, is "Hedgehog" and Adam Scott is " The Hedgehog"....or vice versa...

Posted by: kirbyjay at November 23, 2011 9:35 AM

They should give McHale an Emmy just for that Dean Pelton impression. That was hilariously dead on.

Posted by: John W at November 23, 2011 10:01 AM

Am I the only one who thinks Danny Pudi is hotter than Donald Glover?

I am?

Good.

Posted by: Three-nineteen at November 23, 2011 10:02 AM

And oddly enough I find John Hamm to be the least hot and the least sexay of this whole list.

Posted by: JenVegas at November 23, 2011 10:11 AM

Thank you for brightening my cold snowy morning with HAAAAAAMMMMM and Fillion today. Mmmmm warm snuggles and then funny snowball fights and then warming back up - yes please!

Posted by: jmd at November 23, 2011 10:22 AM

Kala: "How the holy hell does Rob Lowe not age? The man doesn't change. Is there some nefarious secret?"

He drinks the blood of virgins through a diamond straw.

He also doesn't belong on this list. He's not funny.

Hamm, and Fillion and McHale, yes.
NPH I find adorable, but not hot or sexy.
I'm not familiar with the rest of them.

Posted by: BWeaves at November 23, 2011 10:30 AM

No Jensen Ackles?
*crawls away*
*hides in shame*
*peeks furtively at screen*

Posted by: cinekat at November 23, 2011 10:44 AM

joanna robinson needs to stop making lists about dudes. this site used to be about movies, now it feels like jezebel. so disappointing.

Posted by: jesus christ at November 23, 2011 10:47 AM

This site used to be about movies?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at November 23, 2011 10:52 AM

Jezebel makes lists of dudes?

Posted by: Ghisent at November 23, 2011 10:57 AM

Jesus Christ needs to stop reading and commenting on blogs about movies. He used to be about helping people help themselves, now he sounds like Glenn Beck. So disappointing.

Posted by: RobP at November 23, 2011 10:58 AM

I second the Jenson Ackles comment.

Posted by: Bob Frapples at November 23, 2011 11:00 AM

"Preach, pale motherfucker!"

Amen.

Posted by: OldSchool60 at November 23, 2011 11:01 AM

But it's GOOD that he looks like a Hedgehog! GAWD. I'm also impressed with your spelling skills, but I want my Adam Scott! Because obviously, I haven't the powers to go find photos of him myself or watch Parks and Rec a million times over.

OCCUPY THIS THREAD!

Until lunchtime, anyway, I'm a busy woman.

Posted by: figgy at November 23, 2011 11:12 AM

That delicious slice o' Hamm in the header pic almost makes up for the fact that I have to work today...almost. Feel free to post more Hamm candy on Friday (because I have to work then too...the sucky part of switching jobs during the holidays.)

Posted by: SugarKane at November 23, 2011 11:13 AM

Sometimes I wonder why I read comments here. Then I get to things like this:

"joanna robinson needs to stop making lists about dudes. this site used to be about movies, now it feels like jezebel. so disappointing.
Posted by: jesus christ at November 23, 2011 10:47 AM

This site used to be about movies?
Posted by: Three-nineteen at November 23, 2011 10:52 AM

Jezebel makes lists of dudes?
Posted by: Ghisent at November 23, 2011 10:57 AM

Jesus Christ needs to stop reading and commenting on blogs about movies. He used to be about helping people help themselves, now he sounds like Glenn Beck. So disappointing.
Posted by: RobP at November 23, 2011 10:58 AM"

Hilarious!
Oh also....loved the list, and I think I may have to start watching "Chuck"

Posted by: mamoon at November 23, 2011 11:29 AM

Three-nineteen: totally seconded on Danny Pudi. That's really all I have to contribute.

Posted by: theplanpony at November 23, 2011 11:44 AM

Jesus Christ needs to stop reading and commenting on blogs about movies. He used to be about helping people help themselves, now he sounds like Glenn Beck. So disappointing.

Posted by: RobP at November 23, 2011 10:58 AM

I thought Jesus Christ was busy wearing a sasquatch suit with giant balls on a pug's asshole?

Oh, that was yesterday. Carry on.

Posted by: Bert at November 23, 2011 11:56 AM

Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

Posted by: Ghisent at November 23, 2011 12:14 PM

Could we get a clarification on which Jesus we are dealing with?

All American Jesus? He loves football and hates the gays. Beck 2012!

Hipster Jesus? There were actually 3 more disciples, but you've probably never heard of them.

Dashboard Jesus? Ready to hula your sins away?

WASP Jesus? Scotch and egg nogs to keep warm at Christmas Eve services.

The REAL Jesus? As seen every Easter on the cover of Time Magazine?

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 23, 2011 12:44 PM

You'd best pray to Godtopus, and all that is holy, that that I get left out of this. I will strike down with a furious vengence upon thee. Gabriel! Gas up the murdertank!

Posted by: The Pajesus at November 23, 2011 12:47 PM

I'd be careful if I were you. I can't even talk to him when he gets like this.

Posted by: Godtopus at November 23, 2011 12:48 PM

Where are you keeping the pseudo-saphhic Community pictorials these days? All American Jesus won't stop talking about them.

Posted by: The Pajesus at November 23, 2011 12:50 PM

Those bitches were hot!

Posted by: All American Jesus at November 23, 2011 12:51 PM

All of these people are funny, and attractive as well. I approve. I know everyone was waiting for my endorsement.

Posted by: Slash at November 23, 2011 12:59 PM

Gas up the murdertank..? Ah, nuts. I always pictured the murdertank as a giant glass fish tank in which people were dropped to be murdered. Like a lions den except with ravenous fish. With lasers. Thanks for the enlightenment.

Posted by: Bob Frapples at November 23, 2011 1:08 PM

I think what you're referring to is TK's basement.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 23, 2011 1:09 PM

After the winter rainy season.

Posted by: peanutbutterjellytime at November 23, 2011 1:12 PM

Jay Harrington - Better Off Ted

Came here to post this

Carry on

Posted by: Amanda6 at November 23, 2011 1:28 PM

But Mrs. J, you forgot the best Jesus of all: Buddy Christ

http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs45/f/2009/079/1/2/Buddy_Christ_Motivator_by_SaintJimmy96.jpg

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 23, 2011 1:34 PM

Gas up the murdertank..? Ah, nuts. I always pictured the murdertank as a giant glass fish tank in which people were dropped to be murdered. Like a lions den except with ravenous fish. With lasers. Thanks for the enlightenment.

Posted by: Bob Frapples at November 23, 2011 1:08 PM

It's still this, it just drives around. A Murdertank-mobile if you will.

Posted by: Bert at November 23, 2011 1:35 PM

Socrates, I thought it was eucharist humour (and who doesn't love that?). You know the "buddy" of Christ. Make Christ your "buddy". I didn't know it was an actual thing.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 23, 2011 1:42 PM

Cinecat, hold your head up high! Jensen should be on here, absolutely.

Posted by: Lauren at November 23, 2011 1:46 PM

Brisket Jesus?

Posted by: Anna von Beav at November 23, 2011 9:05 PM

NPH and Krasinski are not your standard Hollywood hunk, they're actually geeky looking.

Posted by: Adrien at November 23, 2011 9:48 PM

Matthew Perry.

That is all.

Posted by: MissRos at November 23, 2011 11:56 PM

Fourthing (is that a word?) the Ackles vote. That man may be annoyingly pretty, but he's also fucking high-larious!

Posted by: Tarn at November 24, 2011 6:34 AM

John Krasinskis too dweeby to be hot man, give me the Will Arnett.

Posted by: wuuut at November 24, 2011 3:19 PM

also, since when is Jensen Ackles funny? Did I miss something? If so please enlighten me because hes a mega-babe.

Posted by: wuut at November 24, 2011 3:21 PM


If only Nathan Fillion still looked like that...

Posted by: Puffaroo at November 25, 2011 9:15 AM

@wuut,

well, just watch Supernatural. He manages to put in lots of little bits of funny 'business'. (The humour's a tad broad, but that's the show for you....) Also, 'Eye of the Tiger' - come on!

And I've been at a couple of SPN Q&A sessions, and can testify that he doesn't need a script to be funny.

Posted by: Tarn at November 25, 2011 9:22 AM

You forgot Jensen Ackles! He really is hilarious on Supernatural.

Posted by: LBeees at November 26, 2011 12:31 AM

If you look...just look...at a photo of John Krasinski he is just average. Then he opens his mouth and that velvet drum voice comes out with a dry wisecrack or pithy observation and then he walks with that long legged thang hes got and his mobile left eyebrow switches into high gear and that man is HOT. It is so much more than just looks.

Similarly, Kwanten is hot, no denying, but when he does the idiotic Jason Stackhouse thing he is HILARIOUS.

It has to be a total package, and these two definitely have that package.

*winknudge*

Posted by: klingonfree at November 26, 2011 12:09 PM

2 words. Cary. Grant.

Posted by: dammitjanet at December 2, 2011 12:05 PM

dammitjanet is right, Cary Grant was funnier and handsomer than anybody on this page. And when I searched the page for Grant, thought even Hugh Grant rated higher than most of them.....Rob Lowe very both, though his role in Parks & Rec not the best proof of it, I love the show & him but not him in the show. He handled humor flawlessly in West Wing.

Posted by: corgi at December 4, 2011 3:21 PM

@Dammitjanet

Hells yeah for the mention of Cary Grant.

Posted by: Stefmagura at December 5, 2011 1:55 AM