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On Behalf of All the Women Who Prefer Blood and Guts to Twilight I Say: Jump Up My Ass, Relativity Media

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Trailers | Comments (35)

immortals-henry-cavill.jpg

You just stepped in a pile of sh*t, Immortals marketing team, you f*cking gender stereotyping, asshole sexists. Get the f*ck over yourselves. Real men don’t need Immortals or Twilight because they’re waiting for The Muppets, you broken c*ck barnacles.









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Comments

There's men who want to see "Immortals"?

Posted by: Jay at November 18, 2011 11:09 AM

Yep. Sign me up for the Muppets. Oh, and I'm scheduled to go with my son's Kindergarten class to see Happy Feet 2. Not quite as excited about that one, but it's in the "you're a dad. suck it up." category.

Posted by: NateS1973 at November 18, 2011 11:15 AM

Girls might be at Twilight, but women spend their money elsewhere.

And after that promo, this woman won't be spending it on The Immortals.

Posted by: mswas at November 18, 2011 11:15 AM

"Girls might be at Twilight, but women spend their money elsewhere."

Posts on my Facebook feed say otherwise.

Posted by: Matt at November 18, 2011 11:20 AM

They mean, real men can get ripped off like everyone else who paid to see that awful piece of shit.

Posted by: ChickaBoom! at November 18, 2011 11:24 AM

Oh, Mr. Rowles. You make my day. If I hadn't already seen Immortals I'd avoid it. In fact, the plot was so cracked, the acting so wooden, the point so absent--I kind of wish I'd waited and gone to Twilight instead. At least I know THAT will be a veritable laugh riot as my friend and I like to watch those films MST3K style. We've even named Pattinson's eyebrows, and cheer for them when they do their epileptic caterpillar twitch dance! In fact, Pattinson's eyebrows are the best part of Twilight.

Anyway, thanks for that!

Posted by: Muttley Crew at November 18, 2011 11:33 AM

cock barnacles is my new favorite term, thanks

Posted by: sean at November 18, 2011 11:34 AM

So, when Mirror, Mirror comes out, the ads will say, "From the REAL MAN who brought you The Immortals...?"

Idiots. I bet they're the same ad wizards behind the new Dr. Pepper commercials, too.

Posted by: RobP at November 18, 2011 11:35 AM

Thanks. That killed any chance I had of taking my boys to see this film this weekend. They don't get this "girl's" money.

Posted by: Reba at November 18, 2011 11:35 AM

Hey I like the Dr. Pepper commercials. Mostly because they're so silly that I don't think they're meant to be taken seriously. Of course, there's no doubt that some people will.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 18, 2011 11:37 AM

Sexism aside, let's get to the real affront here: the frakking idiots put the arrow rest on the wrong side of the bow (per the header picture). Even Orlando Bloom can get that right.

Posted by: Jast at November 18, 2011 11:45 AM

Well, that's a pile of bullshit, right there.

Posted by: Anna von Beav at November 18, 2011 12:01 PM

Pfft! I went to see Immortals mostly to ogle sweaty muscley men who were not wearing many clothes.

Posted by: MissMarj at November 18, 2011 12:02 PM

My comments keep getting eaten by your site.

Posted by: Salad_Is_Murder at November 18, 2011 12:50 PM

That is embarrassing.

Posted by: Salad_Is_Murder at November 18, 2011 12:50 PM

Hmm, it wasn't the proper spelling of embarrassing that was triggering it. Perhaps it was my criticism of this articles content...

Posted by: Salad_Is_Murder at November 18, 2011 12:51 PM

Ha, I turned on my sound as I started the trailer and didn't realize another browser page was playing soothing piano music. I thought it was part of the ad and it really undermined the manly message. *snort*

Posted by: pickled tink at November 18, 2011 12:55 PM

Though I do find it humorous that you're mad at this marketing team for making gender based assumptions about which movie they're going to go see...and then yourself make a gender-based assumption about the movie they're going to see.

So, to pair a phrase...or something: "You just stepped in a pile of sh*t, Pajiba Article Team, you f*cking gender stereotyping, asshole sexists. Get the f*ck over yourselves"

Posted by: Salad_Is_Murder at November 18, 2011 12:57 PM

It's hard to take your "manliness" seriously when you're wearing Leather Battle Panties.

Posted by: StoatCat at November 18, 2011 1:12 PM

I'm not sure what your comment means, Salad_Is_Murder. What gender-based assumption is Dustin making? Who are "they" in the phrase "and then yourself make a gender-based assumption about the movie they're going to see"?

Posted by: Three-nineteen at November 18, 2011 1:13 PM

Well I think he means general audiences or maybe male audiences, though going strictly by the grammar, "they" appears to refer the Immortals marketing team.

There's at least two ways to interpret the joke here: To be a real man you have to go see the Muppets, or real men go to see whatever the fuck they want regardless of what the advertising tells them is manly. I'll take the latter. Is it a gender assumption? I suppose it is, but I don't mind it because it's in the name of broadening the definition of manliness instead of pigeon-holing it into just one kind of entertainment.

Posted by: Socrates_Johnson at November 18, 2011 1:23 PM

Leather battle panties just went on my Xmas list.

Posted by: ZombieMedic at November 18, 2011 2:07 PM

Wow, not paying to see that now.

Posted by: encre at November 18, 2011 2:23 PM

What is this? I don't even...

Posted by: noonoo at November 18, 2011 3:08 PM

Immortals! Catchphrase!!

Posted by: Protoguy at November 18, 2011 5:15 PM

You know what makes me mad about this? Not that they think I won't watch Immortals, but rather they think I would be caught DEAD in a theater playing Twilight.
I hope the dude who came up with this ad gets a better girlfriend, because he is obviously going to some terrible movies with her.

Posted by: katyv at November 18, 2011 5:30 PM

Huh. This "girl" was actually thinking about going to see Immortals. Not any more! Thanks for saving me cash, sexists!

Posted by: karenology at November 18, 2011 7:18 PM

I assumed Dustin meant that real men wanted to see a good movie, which Immortals and Twilight: Who Gives a Shit Part 1 aren't (I assume, because nothing will get me to see either - not even Henry Cavill's abs).

Posted by: Three-nineteen at November 18, 2011 11:57 PM

Well. I guess I'll add "obnoxiously sexist marketing" to "looks like a steaming pile" on my list of reasons not to spend my money on Immortals. I'll probably still check out Archaia's graphic novel, though.

Posted by: elisamaza at November 19, 2011 5:21 AM

This ad was done better by the marketing team for The Expendables.

Posted by: Four Eyes at November 20, 2011 9:15 AM

For some reason, I'm not outraged by this. This marketing team also released the ad that goes:

"From the producers of 300 comes a movie that's so stunningly visual and so awesomely violent that we can only show it to you in very small bits. It's got super hot oracle chicks, lots of cool muscley guys, and everyone is gonna kill everyone else."

Yeah, this one reads kind of sexist, but I wonder if it's not actually in the Old Spice "man your man could smell like" camp of tongue-in-cheekness.

On the other hand I could be totally wrong. If the previous ad was genius for saying explicitly what similar trailers have only implied, this new ad could be similarly frank and shocking simply because it actually says what marketing departments often only suggest: We really want men to see this movie.

Posted by: Amanda6 at November 20, 2011 5:46 PM

Some people take themselves too seriously. Smile a little and don't see insult in every little thing. Life will be much more pleasant.

Posted by: Leaf at November 21, 2011 11:06 AM

You really are on the wrong website, Leaf.

Posted by: Mrs. Julien at November 21, 2011 2:43 PM

Hola! Drum circle time guys! Drum... circle...?

You guys are so negative.

Posted by: Ender at November 22, 2011 9:02 AM

p.s. is it racist that I assume Leaf is a hippy?

Posted by: Ender at November 22, 2011 9:02 AM