Aaron Rodgers Has Completed His Darkness Retreat, Which Is a Thing

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | February 23, 2023 |

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | February 23, 2023 |

Aaron Rodgers, an NFL player who plays football for the Green Bay Packers, has completed his darkness retreat, which is a thing that NFL quarterbacks who play for the Green Bay Packers, lie about vaccination status, date Shailene Woodley and a crystal-loving woman named Blu of Earth who is definitely not a witch, wears Barstool shirts, and has a new tattoo that reveals how deep the brain worms have burrowed do.

What is a darkness retreat? Per NBC Sports:

Rodgers spent his retreat in a 300-square-foot room that has no natural light and is designed to be silent. He had a bed, a meditation mat, and a bathroom, and food was brought to him.

So he sat in the dark, and he couldn’t even finish that. He had planned four days and four nights in a dark cell, but arrived Monday and left on Wednesday. Apparently, Rodgers claimed that sitting in the dark in complete solitude for a few days would help him “in his process of deciding whether to return to the Packers, seek a trade elsewhere or retire.”

He probably paid thousands of dollars to stay in that dark room when I would have let him stay in my basement for nothing and I would have told him to go to the Jets because they’re playoff ready except for their quarterback and man, it’d be fun to watch him lose in New York.