Ted Cruz has been running around during the campaign season promoting himself as “Tough as Texas,” which is pretty hilarious if you’ve ever seen Ted Cruz. Or heard him speak. Or knew one single thing about him. Ted Cruz? “Tough”? Haha ha ha. Ted Cruz is the guy who pushes the birthday-party clown and the old lady aside to save himself if there’s a fire because Ted Cruz cares only about himself.
And look! Violence is never the answer. Unless you’re Southern, and someone calls your wife a “dog,” and then you kick the sh*t out of that someone, or at least get your ass kicked trying (my wife, who watched this ad with me this morning, scoffed, “God! Men. The worst,” but she grew up in rural New Hampshire and married an Arkansan hick for some reason, so I’m pretty sure somewhere way down deep inside she was thinking, “Damn right.”)
But also, come on: It’s Texas, and Ted Cruz claims to be “tough.” I mean, come on! Ted Cruz?
Richard Linklater’s Anti-Cruz ad suggests otherwise, and every bit of Southerness within my being loves it dearly. Is it the right message to be sending to dudes? Maybe not. Will it work in Texas? Damn right, Ted.
Awesome. Now quick: Do Trump, Linklater!