Many of you wouldn’t know it, because Netflix does a terrible job of promoting their original movies, but they have a fairly decent slate of independent features, like several that I have heard of including Win It All, I Don’t Feel at Home in this World Anymore, Beasts of No Nation, Pee Wee’s Big Holiday. But there are also others that I’m just now learning about, because Netflix isn’t even properly promoting these films to critics. There’s a movie called Tallulah with Ellen Page that premiered last year that sits at 86 percent on Rotten Tomatoes; Ruth Wilson has a gothic murder ballad called I Am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House; and there’s a well reviewed movie about fraternity hazing called Burning Sands.
These movies, however, mostly get lost in the shuffle of content on Netflix. But you know what does well? Shitty Adam Sandler movies. How well, you ask? According to a Netflix earning reports, “Since the release of Ridiculous Six, Netflix members have spent more than half a billion hours watching Adam Sandler movies.”
Half a billion hours. 20 million days. 57,000 years. Watching Adam Sandler movies.
This might explain why Donald Trump was elected, but not for the reasons you think. It’s not that Republicans spend a lot of time watching Adam Sandler movies, necessarily. It’s because 92 million people didn’t vote in 2016 because they were too fucking busy watching Adam Sandler movies. The world’s gonna burn, but the silent white majority are going to be too busy watching The Do Over to notice.
These number also explain why Kevin James has a Netflix movie that none of you have seen, and why Rob Schneider’s terrible sitcom was not only greenlit, but renewed for a second season. It also explains why Netflix renewed Sandler’s movie deal.
On the bright side, all those who buy a subscription to Netflix to watch Sandler movies are at least helping to pay for some of the better, less popular movies and television series.