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Hot Topic's 'Nightmare Before Christmas' Line Makes Me Angry That I'm Not a 13-Year-Old Girl

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | October 14, 2015 |

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | October 14, 2015 |

Damn it Hot Topic, you’re doing it again. I’ve talked here before about how mad Hot Topic makes me. Because they’re terrible. The worst. Their clothes are garbage quality, and the entirety of their success comes from taking the kitschy or punk rock subculture totems you love and cartoonizing and mass producing them for the malls of America. The store is just plain awful, which is why I am far too embarrassed to ever walk into one and try on anything out of this adorable superhero line. The Orphan Black collection was testing my limits of self control. But so help me, this Nightmare Before Christmas line may push me over the edge. Oh, to be 13 years old and suburban-angsty enough to not feel self-conscious while wearing these Sally tights:

Or these pants which middle school me would have found SO punk, in that mass produced Tim Burtony way.


Or (who am I kidding?— AND) this Jack Skellington choker:


Oh, nope, just kidding. This Sally choker is the sh*t.

I would have dreamed about wearing these rings with my middle school crush, Jerry O’Connell.

I would have fantasized about being older and sophisticated enough to pull off this Fair Isle sweater. You know, for those blustery Sunday mornings Jerry and I would spend sipping cocoa at our lake house.

I didn’t understand what made this dress fit into the collection, other than its vague corsety gothness:

Until you click to embiggen and squint hard enough to see that the lace pattern is a bunch of Jack faces. And now I want it. I want it all. Damn you, Hot Topic! Is it possible to forget about social stigma (absolutely!) and garbage quality (probably not) long enough for me to deck myself out in Jack Skellington hoodies? Ugh, I loathe adulthood.

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