Here are Some Things Joe Pesci Hates: Louis CK's Standup, Pleasing Women Sexually

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | April 11, 2016 |

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | April 11, 2016 |

Louis C.K. was on The Howard Stern Show this week, and the big revelation out of the interview that everyone’s talking about is that in making his new show Horace & Pete, C.K. put himself millions of dollars into debt. Apparently he used about $2 million of his own money to pay for the first four episodes, and thought sales of those episodes (available for $5 each) would fund the rest of the season. That didn’t happen, so he had to take out a line of credit to fund the rest.

Actual footage of Louis C.K. f*cking himself over with his life choices:

However, that wasn’t the truly important information from this interview. No, the highlight of the program came when Louis CK decided to let us all know that Joe Pesci is a big ol’ dickface. First, CK let us all know that we should never, ever call Pesci unsolicited. I don’t think many of us would ever try that, or have reason or means to, but just in case it ever comes up, DON’T. Not even if you’re offering him a job, as Louis was.

I got Joe Pesci’s phone number. My manager got it and I called him. He said, ‘Where the fuck did you get my phone number?’ It was the first thing he said. He said, ‘I don’t know you! I don’t know you.’ He said, ‘I watched some of your stuff after I got…’ Because I left him a message. He said, ‘I watched your stand-up, which I can tell you’re just trying that and you’re no good at it.’ He told me, ‘You’re no good at stand-up.’ He said, ‘Quit that now!’

So yeah, lesson learned: never call Joe Pesci unless you want him to crush all of your dreams. According to C.K., he wasn’t kidding, either. They got onto better footing eventually, but Pesci really does hate his standup. Not that Joe Pesci is known for his jokes.

Other not funny things Joe Pesci ended up saying to Louis C.K. include his thoughts on oral sex. Namely, that he doesn’t do it. Can you guess why? If you guessed some nonsensical misogynistic bullcrap, then DING DING DING.

While I was there he lectured me about… ‘Don’t ever eat a woman’s pussy.’ He gave me this whole thing about never going down on a woman… Because it makes you beneath her and you can never rise above. He said this whole thing to me and I said to him, ‘I need to write that into this show.’ And he let me have it, and it’s in the show.

Via Uproxx.