Remember when Clint Eastwood was just a squinty, gruff actor/director made of grit and grumbles? He was cool, and mysterious. Man, I miss when Clint Eastwood was mysterious. Because when he actually says his thoughts, there’s no mystery. There’s just us, hearing or reading those words and alternately punching things and vomiting.
The 86-year-old and his son Scott gave a joint interview to Esquire (with photos by Terry Richardson, for maximum creep), which basically just meant Clint talked A LOT, and said a lot of things that would either be awkward or possibly insulting to say in front of or to your son, while Scott just kind of laughed awkwardly. Like, for example, Clint’s view on why men sometimes die right after they retire, more so than women. It’s because women have family to look after, unlike Clint, even though Clint is sitting right next to his son. In his mind:
For a man, once you’ve sired your pups, you’re done.
Or maybe when, right off the bat, he was asked about the similarities between his new movie (Sully) and his son’s (Snowden), and Clint basically just shat all over Scott.
Well, we have a great lack of [integrity] now. It’s a madhouse out there. You wonder, what the hell? I mean, Sully should be running for president, not these people. Scott’s movie sounds fascinating. I want to see it because it’s about deserting your country … for whatever reasons you have. Snowden became famous for the wrong reasons, as Sully became famous for doing something spectacular.
Clint also has a lot of thoughts about Trump, and how he’s really onto something with all of his words taking precedence over, you know, thoughts and stuff.
What Trump is onto is he’s just saying what’s on his mind. And sometimes it’s not so good. And sometimes it’s … I mean, I can understand where he’s coming from, but I don’t always agree with it.
Like what, Clint?
But he’s onto something, because secretly everybody’s getting tired of political correctness, kissing up. That’s the kiss-ass generation we’re in right now. We’re really in a pussy generation. Everybody’s walking on eggshells.
“Pussy generation,” huh? Whose asses are we pussies kissing, exactly?
All these people that say, “Oh, you can’t do that, and you can’t do this, and you can’t say that.” I guess it’s just the times.
Cause see, what this sounds like, is that Clint is of a generation where HIS ass (or any other white guy, especially a famous one) is the one that’s used to being kissed, or at least catered to. And now that other voices are starting to demand to be heard, and to be given respect, well, old Clint just doesn’t know why he can’t say and do all the things that have previously ignored literally everyone else.
We see people accusing people of being racist and all kinds of stuff. When I grew up, those things weren’t called racist.
BINGO. Here’s the thing, Clint: THOSE THINGS WERE ALWAYS RACIST. Like saying a judge can’t rule objectively because of his Mexican heritage? What do we think, racist or just one of those things people say sometimes?
I haven’t endorsed anybody. I haven’t talked to Trump. I haven’t talked to anybody. You know, he’s a racist now because he’s talked about this judge. And yeah, it’s a dumb thing to say. I mean, to predicate your opinion on the fact that the guy was born to Mexican parents or something. He’s said a lot of dumb things. So have all of them. Both sides. But everybody—the press and everybody’s going, “Oh, well, that’s racist,” and they’re making a big hoodoo out of it. Just fucking get over it. It’s a sad time in history.
Every time has been a sad time in history. This is a sad time for Clint Eastwood, though, because suddenly he has to look past his own dumb squinty face.
And were you asking yourself, “How well does Clint Eastwood understand the structure of government?” You know, since he sure does seem to have a lot of opinions about who’s doing what wrong? Well, here’s what he thinks about Obama (and all those damn pussies.)
He doesn’t go to work. He doesn’t go down to Congress and make a deal. What the hell’s he doing sitting in the White House? If I were in that job, I’d get down there and make a deal. Sure, Congress are lazy bastards, but so what? You’re the top guy. You’re the president of the company. It’s your responsibility to make sure everybody does well. It’s the same with every company in this country, whether it’s a two-man company or a two-hundred-man company… . And that’s the pussy generation—nobody wants to work.
And what about his thoughts on Hillary?
What about her? I mean, it’s a tough voice to listen to for four years. It could be a tough one.
Okay, but what about thoughts not limited to reducing her to personhood to a gendered perception of shrillness or whatever?
She’s made a lot of dough out of being a politician. I gave up dough to be a politician. I’m sure that Ronald Reagan gave up dough to be a politician.
Does he actually think Donald Trump is going to give up all of the money he says he has? It sure sounds like it.
So what are his beliefs? What’s his affiliation?
Yeah, I’m anti-the pussy generation. Not to be confused with pussy.
To which Scott added, “All of us are pro-pussy.”
HAHAHAHA, I GET IT. It’s funny because he hates Hillary Clinton, doesn’t think racism is a thing, but always wants to bang a hottie.
The Eastwoods, ladies and gents.