Come this May, when you go to see the SXSW favorite Neighbors, you may think to yourself, “That was one hell of a movie, but I sure could have done with more Nick Offerman.” Well, just know that there’s a good reason behind the lack of Offerman in the film.
It was my erect cock. Not to put too fine a point on it, an 18 inch, 4 inch wide hog, I think that had something to do with it.
That’s right, Nick Offerman’s freakish schlong is costing him work.
Whelp, I’m definitely gonna start saving up for that DVD.
If you haven’t had your fill of Nick Offerman’s penis (dirty), please enjoy this rap.
(Yes, that is Devin from FNL. You’re welcome.)