'The Daily Show' Examines Santa's Finances

I don’t remember when I stopped believing in Santa. I do remember the last time I defended his existence. A classmate was going out of their way to tell kids who still believed that Santa wasn’t real. They didn’t know that I had an ace up my sleeve. “Santa has to be real because my parents don’t have money, but my two brothers and I always got presents,” I said with logic on my side. I’ve since learned that my parents are just bad with money.

Now I have kids of my own. With them has come the realization that keeping up a belief in Santa is a full-time job. It’s like being an undercover cop. You can’t slip up! We live in an NYC apartment (for now), so present storage is limited. My son almost went into the designated storage room, and I almost slipped and said it was where Santa was storing presents. That kills the magic!

To compensate, I’ve been getting into elaborate detail about how Santa will be bringing presents from the North Pole. I’ll be damned if my kid is the one who goes around spoiling everyone’s fun. I’d rather they be the 12-year-old who is still clinging to magic through logic (twelve is old, I know). I’ll also have to keep them from watching The Daily Show.

In a new segment from the hardest working ensemble cast in late-night, The Daily Show looked into Santa’s finances. He can’t hammer together wooden toys anymore! The big bearded man has been taking out loans, and the bank has come to collect. This sketch is super silly in the best ways. Kal Penn is a great Santa. It made me giggle and sent me down a mental rabbit hole.

I don’t know how long my kids will believe in Santa. I know I want them to carry that magic for as long as possible. So, ya know, playing this sketch at the breakfast table probably wasn’t the best idea. I’m trying!