Police In Ft. Lauderdale Are Recruiting Spring Breakers

By Andrew Sanford | TV | March 15, 2024 |

By Andrew Sanford | TV | March 15, 2024 |

Spring Break is an event that never feels real. I’ve never been to an “exotic” local during Spring Break, but to be fair, neither have the people traveling to Florida. Spring Breakers journey to nice weather, put on some swimsuits, and party in groups so large you know someone is catching something. However, not everyone in Florida is a fan of these antics.

Miami Beach has made it clear that they do not want Spring Breakers this year. They put out a PSA telling the wannabe partiers to go elsewhere. They’ve also instituted a curfew and ordered liquor stores to close by 8 PM. It’s a pretty dweeby move on the city’s part, but I also get it. Miami has a vibrant nightlife scene, but Spring Break is another animal. These kids want new adventures, which is why Ft Lauderdale is taking a different approach.

Desi Lydic and Michael Kosta have been sharing hosting duties on The Daily Show this week (and doing a bang-up job). While discussing Miami’s change of heart, the hosts turned to a Fox News report about Ft. Lauderdale. The Florida city is not only welcoming Spring Breakers, they are trying to recruit them. Police Officers have been using the increased foot traffic as an opportunity to pad their ranks.

This sounds like a joke, but it isn’t! The officers pass out frisbees, hold trivia contests, and approach swimmers on the beach, hoping they will be eager to stop their fun and grab a gun. It’s an absurd move that somehow seems fitting. Cops never know how to interact with human beings and assuming any visiting college student would want to stay permanently and harass citizens exemplifies that.

Lydic and Kosta ring off a series of spectacular burns aimed at the Ft. Lauderdale police and their ridiculous plan. I am curious if the recruiting attempt works, but I also wouldn’t trust the cops if they told me it did. You know, because they’re cops.