John Oliver tackles some tough subject matter. From bankruptcy to for-profit prisons, Oliver will use his show, Last Week Tonight, to examine topics that may make some uncomfortable. This week’s internet special segment about the lack of recent innovation in breakfast cereals is… no different.
Oliver released a clip online in which he lamented the lack of new, exciting cereals and honestly I have never felt more seen. As someone who grew up in the ’90s, I’ve seen the glory days of “let’s make such and such a cereal.” The suits in charge of our sugary breakfasts were mad with power and trying to shove whatever they could into a box and told us to mix it with milk. Guess what? It worked.
I know what you’re thinking, “I just saw Sour Patch Kids cereal on the shelf last week.” To you, I say that that is not enough! Adaptations are fine and dandy, but where is my NEW cereal? At one point, Oliver pitches “Nighttime Cereal” and how does that not exist?! “But Andrew, you can technically eat any cereal at night.” Listen, fictional person that I created to argue with me so I can answer my own questions, you are standing in the way of innovation!
Frankly, I went into this article thinking it would be funny to take Oliver’s side, but I’m not joking anymore. What the world needs now are new, inventive cereal brands and flavors that lift us from the horrid hellscape that was 2020 and guide us gently into the tepid hellscape that is 2021. If I’m going to keep eating at home, I want it to be exciting. Gimme new cereal, General Mills! Give it to me or I’ll march onto whatever army base you operate out of, storm your R&D division (where I can only assume I will find people napping), and make it myself!
Header Image Source: WarnerMedia