I’ll take any chance I can get to write about Nicole Byer. Anything she is in is made better by her presence. Despite her hilarious personality and successful career, Nicole has yet to find a long-term partner. She talks about it regularly on her podcast Why Won’t You Date Me. Nicole made another appearance on Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend yesterday, and the eponymous host decided to help Nicole find that special someone. As long as they have a nice dick.

A conversation ensues about what Nicole is looking for in a man. The result is a fantastic display of the chemistry between Conan and Nicole. O’Brien knows well enough to just let Nicole own the room. That’s a talent not many people in his position possess. Hell, Conan himself has a hard time reeling it in sometimes. But when he’s around Nicole, he knows better.

This bit also begs the question: what makes a dick “nice?” Is it the curvature, or lack thereof? Does girth come into play? Is there something to be said for the company a c*** keeps? Nicole used “nice” as a qualifier when Conan suggested that asking for a big penis may scare off potential suitors who have perfectly serviceable members yet have low confidence regarding them. But then again, maybe Nicole wants a wang with high self-esteem?

Conan may not be the best matchmaker for Nicole. We won’t know until we see the results. I just hope that Nicole is happy. Whether she’s got a man with a nice dick or just someone she can have a good time with or is just playing the field. She deserves nice things, both genitally and otherwise.