In honor of Mila Kunis doing, well, anything at all but, more specifically, getting partially naked in this week’s Friends With Benefits, I figured we’d take a quick glance around at the former cast of “That ’70s Show” and see who the big winner from the series really is. A few years ago, the obvious (and regrettable) frontrunner would be Ashton Kutcher, who has now transformed himself into a Twitter star, not a movie star. And rightfully so.
So here are the highlights of the show’s major players and a brief listing of what each one of them has been doing since the show wound down in 2006. In most cases, the lists are neither lengthy nor notable. Still, let’s start off with the former frontrunner turned douche, shall we?
Ashton Kutcher (as Michael Kelso): What Happens in Vegas; Valentine’s Day; Killers; No Strings Attached.
His Next Move: Replacing Charlie Sheen’s dubious legacy in the upcoming season of “Two and a Half Men.”
Laura Prepon (as Donna Pinciotti): Karla; and countless one-off appearances on crappy television shows.
Her Next Move: The pilot episode of “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.” Damn, girl.
Wilmer Valderrama (as Fez): Fast Food Nation; From Prada to Nada; Larry Crowne; and 22 episodes of voicing “Handy Manny.”
His Next Move: Scoping out a new barely legal girlfriend.
Topher Grace (as Eric Forman): Spider-Man 3; Valentine’s Day; Predators; and Take Me Home Tonight.
His Next Move: Something called Coxblocker. Dude, I don’t wanna know.
Debra Jo Rupp (as Kitty Forman): Kickin’ It Old Skool; She’s Out of My League; and 4 episodes of “As the World Turns.”
Her Next Move: Appearing in your Oedipal nightmares tonight.
Danny Masterson (as Steven Hyde): Yes Man; Puff, Puff, Pass; and one episode of “Kim Possible.”
His Next Move: Regular scheduled auditing sessions at Scientology’s Celebrity Centre.
Mila Kunis (as Jackie Burkhart): Forgetting Sarah Marshall; Max Payne; The Book of Eli; Date Night; Black Swan; and 154 episodes of “Family Guy.”
Her Next Move: Anything she wants. Such a shame about the Timberlake though.
So who’s the winner of the gang? Don’t make me articulate it, mates.
Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at Celebitchy.