I missed being able to link at you yesterday, sweet readers, and am shocked and appalled that Dustin would lie to you about the cause. He shouldn’t have blamed it on the a-a-alcohol when it was obviously all that meth I ate. Speaking of Meth Eaters, the lovely Patty O’Green sent me this “Breaking Bad” bingo card. (Pleated Jeans)
Oh my loves, my darlings, I hunger for a lot of things but not a musical version of Ghost. I could have gone my whole life without that. My only hope was they would go full-on Beauty and The Beast with this mofo and have the clay pots come to life and do a sexy, sorta slimey dance while the bland Demi/Swayze counterparts get it on. These photos tell a different story. (The Guardian)
I would, however, watch a musical centered around the song-stylings of “Parks and Recreation” lothario Duke Silver (with special guest Mouse Rat). Speaking of “Parks and Rec,” how cute are these Trader Joe’s signs? I would be inclined to buy ALL of the bacon they have. (High Definite)
This is going to be awkward, but, speaking of pork products, the lovely Emma Watson reportedly met the actor who plays her in the gay porn version of Harry Potter…and she was completely adorable about it. (Film Drunk)
This is going to be even more awkward, but did you know that there’s a Harry Potter called, I kid you not, “LeakyCon”?! I know, I know, it’s named for the Leaky Cauldron but…that just sounds foul. Am I being too depraved? Here are some photos of the Con which looks just about as dorky as you might expect. But…LEAKYCON?! (Moviefone)
One final Harry Potter-themed link. It’s Stephen King’s take on “Harry Potter” vs. “Twilight,” and it’s priceless. (Bits Of Wisdom)
Speaking of boyfriends (that only makes sense if you clicked on the previous link…click it, I say!), the lovely folks over at GOOD have started a series where they compare pop culture of old (
TEN TWENTY WHOLE YEARS AGO) to pop culture of the now. This article compares the lank-haired, moody teen Jordan Catalano (“My So-Called Locker Lean”) to the lank-haired, moody teen Tim Riggins (“Friday Night Miller Lites”). No contest…TEAM RIGGINS, TEXAS FOREVER. I’m so into Riggins, I’m going to go see that John Carter movie despite the space overalls and silly premise. (GOOD)
Okay, listen, some woman grew a nipple on her foot. A legitimate nipple. This link is, in my mind, completely gross, but I know some of you might find it intriguing. Quentin Tarantino reads this column, right? (Gizmodo)
Speaking of gross, this whole News of the World scandal has gone from crazy to grotesque to…what…circus-themed? First a whistle blower is found dead and the death is called unsuspicious?! (Guardian) And then someone throws a PIE AT RUPERT MURDOCH!?! What is going on here!? (Warming Glow)
We all know a pie is too good for Murdoch and I suggest we fire up the murder tank. Thankfully, there’s one for sale in New Jersey. In the words of mrcreosote, “Install a bar and babypults and you’re ready to roll.” (Jalopnik)
Finally, my gorgeous gawkers, I leave you with two photo blogs that I’ve just now fallen in love with. The first one is images of folks driving their cars. Sounds boring but it’s kind of interesting. I once saw a chap shaving his head while driving. That couldn’t wait, buddy? I don’t know if the photo of the guy a reading a book while driving is staged…I hope not. (Brain Pickings) And, secondly here is a collection of food stuffs shot at a microscopic level. What is that white thing in the chocolate cake? LEEEAAAAAKKKKYYYY COOOOOOOONNNNN! (Caren Alpert)
DeviantART (usually host to emo folk and nerdlingers) has a great video series called “Quit Your Job.” There are three videos but I’ve chosen to show you the panda one. The actor they hired to play the nightmare boss is perfection. You can see the rest of the videos on the website. (DeviantART)
And, lastly, we have an interesting video that you have to watch twice (but you can watch it on mute, so that’s nice). The first time through, don’t take your eyes off the cross in the center and the second time look directly at the faces on either side of the screen. Most of you will notice that the women you thought were deformed are actually completely normal (for the most part) looking. Researchers at the University of Queensland in Australia are calling this the “flashed face effect.” Your brain focuses in on the differences in each juxtaposition, augmenting that difference to grotesque proportions. It’s sort of fascinating the tricks our eyes and minds will play.
Joanna Robinson is contemplating making that Shatner-esque LEEEAAAKYYY COOOON shout her go-to when she accidentally stumbles into certain mucky quagmires of the internet.