Last night we saw the return of The X-Files. Hooray! Except not really. It was a not great start to what may still (with a bit of naive hopefulness) turn out to be a worthwhile reunion. So let’s celebrate that mediocrity with a look back at the 25 worst things to ever grace Gillian Anderson’s body. The 1990s were a magical time, weren’t they? An era of taupe shoulder pads and knee-length vests.
How many buttons does a jacket need?
I love when Scully wears a skirt. It so often goes so poorly.
See: Exhibit B
This outfit isn’t made for wilderness. Or anything at all.
This suit was just made for an episode to end in a rainy, muddy trench full of alien eggs or something.
What fresh zoot suit hell is happening here?
Oh, clearly that’s what the last suit was missing: pinstripes.
I will give Scully this (I’ll give her a lot, actually— basically anything and everything): she has managed to mix business attire and pajamas in a way that is excessively enviable.
Follow-up: The fleece robe version.
And double robes.
We don’t need to see any more of this one. The shoulder pad is more than enough.
What is this? A double wool blazer? Vest and blazer? I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s how you dress for visitors.
Dana Scully sure does love beige, doesn’t she?
Casual Friday isn’t any better, apparently.
What. Are. These. Lapels. Are they a prank? Do they take flight? What is happening?
Dana Scully secretly LOVES Stevie Nicks, doesn’t she? You don’t own a dress-length vest and not also have a box of old Fleetwood Mac concert tickets in the back of your closet.
Her face here is the living embodiment of this blazer.
The wardrobe department thought a little pink might lighten things up. They were wrong.
What this this shirt-to-vest/blazer length ratio? I think it’s a smidge off.
Heads up to all aspiring costumers out there: if your leading lady is preggers, maybe consider going up a vest size.
What is this red fanciness?
Oh, it’s her Halloween costume, obviously. Going as Christmas-edition Madeline AGAIN, Scully? (I actually really want this one, and I’m ashamed.)
Oh, Scully seems to have time-travelled to a day of Victorian duck hunting, perhaps.
You can keep your hands on your hips all you want, Scully. It doesn’t mean your jacket comes with a waistline.