Hey, friends. You having a rough morning? Maybe your team lost? Or you can’t quite shake that particular cold you’ve had for ten straight days? Or you just realized that this is the Thursday the weekend before Halloween meaning that there’s nothing particularly fun to do? Don’t worry. We gotcha covered. If you start to feel down during the day, just remember:
1.) Larry David’s Impression Of Bernie Sanders Is Way Better Than Bernie Sanders’ Impression of Larry David
But that doesn’t stop Bernie from trying.
2.) That Kicking Hungarian Camerawoman? She’s Suing Facebook And The Guy She Tripped
In an interview with the Russian newspaper Izverstia, Petra Laszlo said she will sue Osama Abdul Mohsen, the Syrian refugee she tripped, while he was carrying his son.
“He changed his testimony because he initially blamed the police,” she’s quoted as saying. “My husband wants to prove my innocence. For him, it is now a matter of honor.”
Laszlo also plans to sue Facebook for refusing to take down groups that shamed her on the social media site.
3.) Michael J. Fox Got His Self- Tying Shoes
This entry could maybe just be “Michael J. Fox.” The next time your childhood hero is reveled to be some degree of asshole, you just remember Michael J. Fox. He’s not any kind of asshole, he and his wife have been married for 27 years, and by every count available Fox is nothing but a loving father and all around nice guy. He is better than us (even though he’d never say it), and he finally got his goddamn shoes.
4.) Bill Murray’s Reddit Word Vomit
When asked to describe his relationship with Wes Anderson and what he brings to the movies.
You know, there’s a lot of those guys who want those parts. There’s a lot of bitter actors out there, we went to a SAG thing, during Oscar season you go to these things. They have the entire cast onstage and the director, you think someone will ask a question? Not one. These are people who are really pissed and auditioning for the director at the same time. I dont know what I bring to the movies, I bring to it, what he writes. What I got with him, when he had money to spend like in Rushmore? I think I gave him confidence and I fought the people who were ugly on set. I said don’t worry about this thing, I’ll make sure this shot happens. I’m like a uncle, I don;t know what I’m like. We have a lot of fun. We go to shoot in Newport and a Newport mansion just to have the experience of it while we work, the actors are there, the editing is there and we just slouch down and have breakfast and go to work. He loves to live well and he loves to eat. He hires a cook, but basically means you can work 18 hours, somewhere around 7:30 and then he wants 3 more scenes and youre doing the math, then you eat dinner at midnight and its great but you gotta work til 10 and then you are waiting to shower, you’re woozy. Then you go to sleep. I give nothing to the movie but I’m good company. We’ve had great success together, the people who work for him are slavishly devoted to getting it done and making sure his vision gets done in that way, there’s sort of some guys who get a special pass and sometimes suggestions are great. He doesn’t like fly he prefers ground travel. I’m telling you guys this and he came through and we worked in Santa Fe, we gotta get down to this train, so we met these Mariachi band, 8 violins and a couple big guitars, they were striking! I said OH COME ON, they had a layover, lets get something to eat, we got great Mexican food, we ate outdoors. Wes said “I felt something funny, when you opened the door” and the whole train station just got filled with their music. They played to them as the train pulled away. We had someone else on the film get married, and we got this same bland all women band to blast them with music.
Or when he was asked if he knew some Redditor’s dad named Tom.
Uh yes I know Tom, we called him co back then cause he was a hipster, I sent someone looking for Co looking for him years ago, this person found him and he was running for office, the person I sent was not someone your father wanted to be affiliated with while running a campaign, he was a funny guy if you’re his kid you’re probably funny too. Tell your Dad to lay low, his past is gonna catch up with him.
We got pulled driving a car back in the days of rage in Chicago, when people pulled people over, Co had long hair, we got pulled over a from a cop, we thought we were screwed. Co was driving the car and he handed the cop his driver’s license, the cop was so delighted. He said “Do they have stoplights in a Rocky River Ohio” it sounds like what it looks like. Rocky River.
The cop enjoyed making fun of the hillbilly long hair. Here’s another one about Co: Its almost the same story, we were riding around in the middle of the night and I think I was driving this time and the cop pulled up, it was bad. I said “Excuse me, we’re looking for the baseball bat?” and he paused and he backed up 2 steps and looked at me real hard “The Claes Oldenberg Baseball Bat” It’s oversized, 150 feet tall.
So the cop says..”The calder standing mobile, is the city of Chicago building - and the Chigal painted windows at the First National Bank, we thought we’d be beaten, and the idea of 9 guys riding around looking for art installations” it was just funny.
And when asked about the secret of life.
If I tell you, its not a secret, right? Think of what you said! Then I’m not the person who can keep a secret. You almost tricked me, its not going to happen…Unless I have a couple of drinks. [winks]