Whether we like it or not, this time of year is dominated by Christmas. Everywhere you look, you’re attacked by Christmas trees, Christmas decorations, Santa Clauses, and of course, Christmas movies. What’s a non-Christmas-celebrating person to do when you want a seasonally appropriate movie, without the holiday message? Here are 8 non-Christmas movies that are still perfect for your winter vacation time.
For the Chosen People
Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights is the common go-to for a modern Hanukkah movie, but for a more heartwarming, less Sandlery option that opens on Hanukkah, there’s An American Tail.
For the Kwanzaa-Inclined
Okay, there REALLY aren’t too many Kwanzaa movies, save for this documentary, The Black Candle, which is great for Kwanzaa observers and the Kwanzaa-curious alike.
For more lighthearted Kwanzaa fun, (briefly stepping outside the movie zone), there’s the adorable A Rugrats Kwanzaa and an Everybody Hates Chris episode called Everybody Hates Kwanzaa which, okay yes, is actually really about Christmas. I’m telling you, it’s hard to escape!
For Those Seeking an Ass Kicking
There may be a handful of references to “the holidays,” but for the most part, this is just a sparkly, wintery gore-fest.
Dude, it’s got “snow” in the title. And absolutely zero Christmas because they’ve got, you know, bigger things to think about that secret Santa gifts. The perfect movie for the nonsecular winterphile.
For My Atheists
Christmas With a Capital C
Okay, this movie actually is entirely about Christmas, but take a look at the trailer. Unironic talk of “The War on Christmas,” assumptions that America represents “the whole world,” and atheist bullying a child dressed like an angel? All of that, starring a third-rate Baldwin? This movie was basically MADE for cynical atheists to play drinking games to.
For Those Wanting Their Heartstrings Pulled
The best thing about a (good) Christmas movie is that it takes you through an emotional journey. By the end of It’s a Wonderful Life, you are exhausted from all the feelings. So what if you want an emotional roller coaster, set in an icy wintery wonderland, but without angels or Santa or a damn pine tree mucking it all up?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
It’s got romps through snowy beaches and disappearing brains.
Lots of snow, lots of feelings, zero Christmas.
A Festivus For the Rest of Us
Okay, it’s not a movie, but for the true seemingly never-ending Festivus experience, watch the holiday episode of Seinfeld six times in a row.