Cold Open — I don’t know that I would call the cold open — which sees Donald Trump grapple with the reality of the Presidency while Kellyanne Conway expresses regret for getting Trump elected — funny per se, but it sure feels sobering! They call Trump out for breaking campaign promises, but they’re campaign promises we prefer he break (like repealing Obamacare, backing away from the wall, and locking up Hillary) and while I think it’s good to stand up to Trump, man, I don’t want to compel him to keep some of those campaign promises out of spiteful pride.
But this is just an SNL sketch, you say! Surely, that wouldn’t register for the President-Elect of the United States!
I watched parts of @nbcsnl Saturday Night Live last night. It is a totally one-sided, biased show - nothing funny at all. Equal time for us?— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 20, 2016
Either way, it was good to see Sudeikis return as Mitt Romney. Watch here. (Score: 6 out of 10)
Kristen Wiig Monologue — Wiig sings a song about the first Thanksgiving, which originated in Ancient Egypt, as everyone knows. This song is historically inaccurate! But it’s kind of funny but not that funny, but hey! Steve Martin shows up! And Will Forte! And they are kind of funny but not that funny, which basically describes the whole show tonight. Watch here. (Score: 5 out of 10)
The Bubble — A commercial for The Bubble, a Brooklyn-like city-state where progressive America can live without ever having to deal with the outside world. Hey! They’re making fun of us. Haha! Lazy potshots about liberals! Love it! I can take a joke! I’d prefer it to be a funny joke, but hey! What do we expect from SNL? The irony is that this sketch actually makes fun of liberals, but Trump is so dumb that he probably thinks it’s making fun of him. (Score: 5 out of 10)
Secret Word — It’s that recurring Kristen Wiig sketch where she plays a clueless actress who gives away the secret word every singe time. The twist here is that her opponent, an Italian actress (Cecily Strong) also gives away the secret word every time. The joke itself bombs, but Wiig manages to keep the sketch afloat with several funny asides and a reference to a pink friend. (Score: 5 out of 10)
Anderson Cooper 360 — It’s a really long, really annoying political sketch about the nature of the media with a punchline that almost makes the joke about the futility of the media more funny than depressing, but not really! Watch here. (Score: 5 out of 10)
Target Ad — The best thing that Target can offer on the first Thanksgiving after the election is an empty parking lot, where you can escape your awful families! (Score: 5 out of 10)
QVC Audition Reels — Two best friends from suburban America tape audition reels where they passively aggressively take shots at each other and try to sabotage one another’s audition reels. The premise is not funny, but the accents and mannerisms are. Watch here. (Score: 4 out of 10)
Weekend Update — What have you got for us this week, Che and Jost? A two-minute joke where Che compares Trump’s campaign to wooing a woman who you lose interest in once she says yes. Good stuff, Che! (*eyeroll*) Lots of jokes — some good, some not so good — but no opprobrium whatsoever, because Trump is a joke and not a threat to democracy. Thankfully, Pete Davidson unexpectedly provides some of that opprobrium many of were hoping for, while Kenan Thompson’s Willie offered some “optimism.” Watch “Update” Part 1. Part 2. Willie. (Score: 5 out of 10)
Thanksgiving Parade — A group of Manhattanites watch the Macy’s parade out of their large, apartment window and get a close-up view of the horrifying floats, including a terrifying Pennywise float. There are a couple of laughs here. Watch here. (Score: 5 out of 10)
Whiskers R We — Another recurring Wiig sketch sees two lesbian cat ladies who work at an adoption agency try to give away cats by using terrible puns. I hate cats, and I hate puns, and yet here we are with the best sketch of the night. (Score: 6.5 out of 10)
Surprise Thanksgiving Party — Wiig’s Sue return, and she cannot hold in her excitement. You remember Sue, right? She’s really, really excited.
It’s been a long night. Watch here. (Score: 5 out of 10)