Before we dig in on Trump’s Salute to America speech, here, folks, is yesterday’s best tweet, if you haven’t seen it yet. White Supremacist Iowa Representative Steve King — on the request of someone on Twitter — thanking, uh, Colonel Jessup for his service:
Posting this before it gets deleted. pic.twitter.com/ABTFFHi2Q9— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) July 5, 2019
For every terrible thing about Twitter, there’s something like that. God bless America, indeed.
Now, for the main event: Trump held his self-serving military parade in D.C. yesterday designed not to honor America, but to honor Donald Trump. I did not watch it, because the part of my brain that did not want to feed his ego by contributing to his ratings thankfully outweighed the part of my brain that wanted to see a car crash. From what I understand, Trump delivered one of those teleprompter speeches, which is to say: It was mostly boring but at least it wasn’t horribly divisive and partisan. He didn’t use the Fourth of July to attack Democrats and the FBI, so good for him? I assume that the tanks he used as a backdrop and the generals he had flanking him did all the partisan work for him. Speaking of those generals, several members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff did not show (they were on “vacation”), and they sent underlings instead. That did not sit well with Lou Dobbs over on Fox News:
No wonder these Snowflake Generals haven't won a war since 1991: Military chiefs concerned about @realDonaldTrump's July Fourth celebration https://t.co/8JNPa3Q2e7 via @MailOnline #MAGA #AmericaFirst #Dobbs— Lou Dobbs (@LouDobbs) July 4, 2019
“Snowflake generals”? Social media handed Dobbs his ass.
In any respect, the highlight of Trump’s scripted speech was when he praised the American military in its fight against Great Britain during the Revolutionary War. “Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do, and at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory.” The thing about that is: There were no airports back then because there were no airplanes because they hadn’t yet been invented. Reminder: That was a scripted speech, meaning someone wrote that.
"…our army manned the amports (?), it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports…"— Amee Vanderpool (@girlsreallyrule) July 5, 2019
Trump slurring and then trying to read off a TelePrompTer about the Continental Army supposedly taking over the airports in 1781 is…no words. #TrumpSpeech pic.twitter.com/83Tv6vsN8x
The response to that line on social media? Here we go:
Watching Trump’s speech, my son turns to me and said “did he say airports? Does he think they had airports in the 1700s?” My son is 11! #TrumpParadeFail— Heather Mount (@mountmusic) July 5, 2019
It wasn’t just the historical inaccuracies. If Trump checked in on Twitter this morning, he’d notice the following hashtags trending: #RevolutionaryWarAirports, #TelePrompTer, War of 1812, Fort McHendry, and #TrumpParadeFail.
Everything about Trump’s little party last night was a massive failure, especially the small crowd size. They weren’t prepared for rain, the glass blurred his awful speech and he wasted a ton of taxpayer dollars. At least Trump baby blimp was there. A true VIP. #TrumpParadeFail— Scott Dworkin (@funder) July 5, 2019
And I also saw this photo a lot on social media, which I’m sure Trump would appreciate.
Somehow obama even does rain better. pic.twitter.com/Q0psBaRGZn— Karen L. (@okKLo) July 5, 2019
Obama always beats trump in the rain challenges pic.twitter.com/g75MMUSw7x— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) July 4, 2019
Happy Fifth of July!
Header Image Source: Getty Images