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The President Poses for a Photo Op After Declaring Quasi-Martial Law

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | June 1, 2020 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | June 1, 2020 |


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After hiding in the White House bunker for much of the weekend and raging at Governors to track and trace protestors and imprison them for a decade, the President gave a speech earlier tonight declaring a sort of quasi-martial law. He stated that he would mobilize “all available federal resources, civilian and military” to stop protests across the country, targeting “professional anarchists, looters, criminals, antifa and others.”


What the hell does protecting the Second Amendment have to do with any of this? He’s just uttering buzz words now, isn’t he? Quick! Someone ask him if he knows what the Second Amendment is because it sounds like he advocating the use of arms to protect the right to bear arms. It’s head-spinny. Oh wait. Nevermind:

Anyway, after declaring quasi martial law, the President pranced over to historic St. John’s Church for a photo op, but not before the military cleared the area with tear gas. This is insane.

He did all of that, so that he could do … this.

Clery at St. Johns were also unhappy because the President used their church and the Bible as a prop.

As protests continue for a seventh night, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has rejected the offer to implement martial law. “Thank you but no thank you,” he said, accusing Trump of “calling out the American military for a photo opportunity.”

Meanwhile, moments ago, Tucker Carlson delivered a 32-minute monologue that took aim at, among others, Jared Kushner and … Trump. I honestly don’t even know what to make of this.




Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.



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