“Check it out, check it out. (laughs) So we put Peter Dinklage in a mushroom costume…”
It’s been a minute since white people set their possessions on fire in protest of black people who think the police shouldn’t murder them just cuz and/or coffee machines that refused to endorsed Roy Moore, so good news. We’re about to see a whole bunch of jackasses try to find creative ways to pour lighter fluid all over their Netflix accounts. (Psst, Cletus. It’s coming from inside the iPad.)
Deadline has learned that Michael Lewis’ latest book The Fifth Risk has been acquired by Barack and Michelle Obama under their Netflix production deal for a possible series aimed to help people better understand the inner workings of the government.
For the record, The Fifth Risk is a book that details how Donald Trump’s administration has zero f**king clue what it’s doing, and in the most technical of terms, is essentially breaking an assload of important shit left and right.
Across all departments, similar stories were playing out: Trump appointees were few and far between; those that did show up were shockingly uninformed about the functions of their new workplace. Some even threw away the briefing books that had been prepared for them.
Michael Lewis’s brilliant narrative takes us into the engine rooms of a government under attack by its own leaders. In Agriculture the funding of vital programs like food stamps and school lunches is being slashed. The Commerce Department may not have enough staff to conduct the 2020 Census properly. Over at Energy, where international nuclear risk is managed, it’s not clear there will be enough inspectors to track and locate black market uranium before terrorists do.
While I personally can’t wait to binge watch ten hours of fictionalized drama about how we’re all going to die because reading is hard, it’s a goddamn miracle that news of the Obamas making a Netflix series about Trump hasn’t started Civil War II yet. I’m starting to think maybe conservatives really aren’t that serious about making America great again. The only way to prove me wrong is by lighting your TVs on fire so Obama can’t beam his secret Muslim Netflix magic into your house.
Sure, maybe you’ll never be able to watch Fox News again. But you’ll sleep soundly at night knowing that you owned my liberal ass so hard that I’ll probably retreat to my lizard-person lair and think twice before masterminding another false flag shooting with George Soros. Who returns to the surface after that much owning? Nobody, that’s who.
P.S. Your entertainment center is totally fireproof, and of course, you don’t need to unplug anything first. What are you like a science nerd or something? Nut up.
Header Image Source: Getty