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The Morning Briefing: Piers Morgan as Chief of Staff? Beto O'Rourke as Dem Frontrunner?

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | December 12, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | December 12, 2018 |


Yesterday, Donald Trump took the blame for shutting down the government before he even shut down the government, which is a thing that one is not supposed to do. He probably realized that afterward, because according to reports, he stormed out of that meeting and started throwing shit. Nancy Pelosi, meanwhile, left as the social-media hero of the day.

Meanwhile, Republican Senators are “dumbfounded” as they scramble to save face.

Asked if he had seen the exchange on television, Senate Republican Whip John Cornyn (R-Texas), said, “I did, unfortunately. I wish I didn’t.”

— In related news, I don’t think that the Democrats will actually go through with impeaching Donald Trump unless they have the votes from Republican Senators, and I doubt they have votes from Republican Senators (at least not yet), but Trump is anticipating it. In fact, Trump is considering David Bossie as his Chief of Staff for that very reason. Back in the ’90s, Bossie — as a congressional investigator — tried to nail Bill Clinton for campaign finance violations, and he played dirty ball and ended up getting himself fired for cherry-picking evidence (and leaving out exculpatory evidence). He’s also that guy earlier this year who, on Fox News, suggested that Joel Payne (who is black) was “out of his cotton-pickin’ mind.” Obviously, Bossie is one of the new frontrunners for the position.

Turns out that Piers Morgan is also a candidate for Trump’s Chief of Staff position — this week, he pretended to be sick so he could leave his presenter job to interview for the position. Whoever it is will leave in six months humiliated and ruined, so Piers Morgan is as good as anyone.

Still, Trump is claiming that, if he were to be impeached, “the people would revolt.” I’m not so sure about that, Donny. In general, people are too lazy to revolt. “It’s hard to impeach somebody who hasn’t done anything wrong and who’s created the greatest economy in the history of our country,” said Trump. It’s not the greatest economy in the history of our country but it is pretty good. When it’s not so great — and that may be coming — the people’s revolt may look an awful lot like this: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

— Michael Cohen will be sentenced today. He’s expected to spend the next few years in prison.

— It won’t get any easier for Trump and his family next month when the state of New York swears in a new Attorney General, Letitia James.

New York Attorney Gen.-elect Letitia James says she plans to launch sweeping investigations into President Donald Trump, his family and “anyone” in his circle who may have violated the law once she settles into her new job next month.

“We will use every area of the law to investigate President Trump and his business transactions and that of his family as well,” James, a Democrat, told NBC News in her first extensive interview since she was elected last month.

Trump won’t be able to pardon himself or his family out of any of those investigations.

— While all of this is going on, the Democrats are trying to field a candidate for 2020. Yesterday, Bernie Sanders turned down the opportunity to be the ranking member of the Energy Committee, another sign that he plans to run in 2020 (because he said he wouldn’t do both). However, according to a MoveOn Straw Poll, it’s Beto who narrowly holds the lead over Biden and Sanders, who comes in third (Kamala Harris came in fourth, while Elizabeth Warren trailed badly at number five). It’s early, and most voters have not made up their minds, but it’s certainly a positive development for O’Rourke.

— And finally, I have no idea what to tell you about the situation in Britain today. I mean, we have a clusterfuck here in America, but at least we have a general understanding of what to do: In 2020, we vote out Trump. I have no idea what the hell is to be done in the UK. Maybe Hannah will explain later.

Anyway, in lieu of another Brexit explainer, this made me laugh:

Julia Roberts Finds that Her 'Holes Get Better with Age' | The Time John Mulaney Took Pete Davidson to a Steely Dan Concert

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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