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So Chris Christie Spent Valentines Day How You'd Expect Him To

By Kylie Cheung | Politics | February 17, 2017 |

By Kylie Cheung | Politics | February 17, 2017 |


Ah, yes, Valentines Day — a holiday to spend with your beloved, or, if you’re part-time New Jersey Gov. and full-time Trump lapdog Chris Christie, a holiday to spend with your master, as usual, doing whatever the f*ck he tells you to.

On a live radio broadcast on Thursday, Christie divulged some telling details from his Valentines lunch with the Trumps. Here’s how it all went down, in Christie’s own words:

“Basically what he explained to me was, ‘Here’s the menu, but if there’s something else you want, just tell them and they’ll make it.’ This is what it’s like to be with Trump. He says, ‘There’s the menu, you guys order whatever you want.’ And then he says, ‘Chris, you and I are going to have the meatloaf.’”

So, there you have it. In case you weren’t having such a great Valentines Day, at the very least you weren’t force fed meatloaf by your captor. It’s hard to not see this incident, although very tamely described by Christie himself, as yet another case of “ritual shaming” as Jezebel’s Gabrielle Bluestone put it.

Over the course of the past roughly one year, Christie has reportedly fetched Trump McDonald’s, all while weathering body-shaming and the confiscation of his Oreo’s. Given this long rich history, how else would you expect Christie’s Valentines to go?

At the very least Trump had the good grace to allow Christie to bring his wife.