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Desantis.JPG

Mickey Mouse Slaps Ron DeSantis

By Nate Parker | Politics | March 30, 2023 |

By Nate Parker | Politics | March 30, 2023 |


Desantis.JPG

Don’t mess with the Mouse. It’s a life lesson I assume Floridians get with their mother’s milk. It’s one Governor Ron DeSantis missed, along with empathy and common courtesy. Almost exactly one year ago, DeSantis signed Florida’s bigoted “Don’t Say Gay” bill, effectively prohibiting elementary school teachers from discussing LGBTQ issues or families. HB 1557 has led to bad-faith complaints from parents that strip school libraries of their resources and hamstring educators’ ability to talk to students about their own families. After Disney CEO Bob Chapek initially bungled Disney Corp.’s response to the proposed legislation with a mealy-mouthed “both sides” statement, the company’s LGBTQ employees and super-fans took issue and pushed the corporation into opposing the bill. The legislature passed it anyway, and DeSantis signed it into law. At the time, DeSantis said, “I don’t care what Hollywood says. I don’t care what big corporations say. Here I stand. I’m not backing down.”

Capitalism’s staunchest defender followed up by signing a bill that allowed a state takeover of the Reedy Creek Improvement District, the government body in place since 1967 that effectively made Disney its own fiefdom. They were responsible for their own community services, like firefighting and road maintenance, saving Florida millions in infrastructure support. In return, the county and state had little say over what Disney did on its own property. The state’s hostile takeover replaced the board with the Central Florida Oversight District, a bland name for a 5-member committee chosen by DeSantis that included Martin Garcia, a major GOP donor; Bridget Ziegler, co-founder of the Moms for Liberty; and a former pastor who thinks tap water turns you gay. This brain trust was to take over the board and turn Disney World and the corporate entity into a more welcoming place for the “traditional family” - i.e. straight, white, and probably wearing Crocs.

“Today, the corporate kingdom finally comes to an end. There’s a new sheriff in town and accountability will be the order of the day,” DeSantis said at the end of February as he signed the bill. Disney responded with a bland statement about weighing their legal options. Turns out, they already had. On February 8th the Reedy Creek Improvement District board held a public forum at which they approved a severe rollback of the committee’s powers. In essence, the Disney corporation continues to have control over its park and the surrounding territories and will do so for decades. The board can’t make major changes without Disney approval. The district is barred from using Disney’s name or its characters without Disney approval. Board member Ron Peri — the one who thinks estrogen-laced tap water turns men into friends of Dorothy — told reporters that “This board loses, for practical purposes, the majority of its ability to do anything beyond maintaining the roads and maintaining basic infrastructure.” Disney’s response was to note that the February 8 meeting was open to the public and noticed in the Orlando Sentinel ahead of time, as required. The most entertaining line in the agreement may be that the declaration is valid until “21 years after the death of the last survivor of the descendants of King Charles III, king of England.” It’s the sort of clause that’s typical of contracts to avoid rule against perpetuity issues, but there’s something satisfying about tying the agreement to the lifespan of Lilibet of Sussex, given how much of Disney’s success is thanks to their Princesses.

The new board has hired 4 law firms to fight Disney’s move to maintain control over its properties, including Cooper & Kirk, a firm that has already made millions defending DeSantis’s culture war nonsense including his social media law and ban on cruise ship “vaccine passport” requirements. One of their lawyers charging the state nearly $800 an hour is Adam Laxalt, DeSantis’s former roommate. Pure coincidence, I’m sure. Either way, they’re substantially outgunned by Disney’s legal team.

To be clear, any corporate entity having more control over its property than the state or federal government is a Bad Idea. Just ask a coal miner. And Disney’s collection of IPs and production companies is only one of its many issues. They’re not the good guys, morally speaking. But the 1967 agreement wasn’t an issue until Disney’s intransigence on his neo-conservative crusade against LGBTQ acceptance and inclusion became an issue for DeSantis’s political aspirations. His need to pluck TFG’s lowest-hanging voters has led to a race to the bottom he’s still losing, and Trump’s cronies are already skewering him for it.

It’s not difficult to pick a side between Ron DeSantis and Mickey Mouse. One is a cartoonish rodent whose presence is unavoidable on social media and television, and the other is Mickey Mouse. DeSantis showed conservative support for free enterprise was only lip service, and painted Disney as a threat to traditional family values. He’s done the same with teachers, higher education, and the LGBTQ community at large. Fortunately for all of us not swayed by apocalyptic threats of critical race theory or trans women in bathrooms, his administration is proving as incompetent as it is corrupt.