How's that Image Rehab Tour Going Now, Sean Spicer, You 'Giant Festering Abscess'
How’s that image rehab going, Sean Spicer? I think maybe the Teflon White People PR Agency may have let you down in the last couple of days, because that interview you gave this morning is not going over well. It’s one thing to brazenly lie as the White House Press Secretary, but you’re not on the clock anymore, bro. Why continue to lie about not lying?
You want to fully rehab that image, start by coming clean. You’re not going to get a new gig outside of a shitty celebreality series unless you start being honest.
“A number of network insiders who spoke on the condition of anonymity to protect their business relationships said none of the networks were interested in hiring Spicer because of a ‘lack of credibility,’” NBC reports.
The collective pass represents a public rebuke for Spicer, who hired an agent and met with ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, and Fox News representatives soon after leaving the White House.
And the thing is, Sean, you’re going to need a new gig, and a high-paying one, as well, because you’re going to need a really good lawyer soon. Why? Because of the copious notes you took as RNC Chairman and as White House Press Secretary. Those are going to come in handy in the Mueller investigation.
Former colleagues of Sean Spicer tell Axios that he filled “notebook after notebook” during meetings at the Republican National Committee, later at the Trump campaign, and then at the White House.
When Spicer worked at the RNC, he was said to have filled black books emblazoned with the party’s seal. Spicer was so well-known for his copious notes that underlings joked about him writing a tell-all.
“Sean documented everything,” the source said.
That surprised some officials of previous White Houses, who said that because of past investigations, they intentionally took as few notes as possible when they worked in the West Wing.
Citing areas of Mueller investigation #maddow says Sean Spicer needs to get a lawyer. No rehabbing how this man betrayed our country!— Amy Siskind (@Amy_Siskind) September 21, 2017
Now that you’re on your image rehab tour, however, I’m sure that you’d be willing to answers questions about those notebooks, right? At least from friendly reporters, i.e., reporters that are your friends.
Can't imagine why news organizations wouldn't want to hire Sean Spicer. pic.twitter.com/5JLcaj6kCy— Matthew Gertz (@MattGertz) September 21, 2017
Dude! What’s with the bug up your ass?
Mike Allen was sentenced to 22 years in prison today for texting Sean Spicer, a crime usually punishable by death.— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) September 21, 2017
I’m sure that was an isolated incident, though, right?
fun Spicer story: my wife saw him while out walking the dog yesterday & when he realized she recognized him, he literally RAN AWAY https://t.co/jTy1JuESPt— delrayser (@delrayser) September 21, 2017
What? There were no bushes to hide behind? At least you’ve got the respect of Lucius Malfoy …oh wait.
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