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The Morning Briefing: 'Serendipity' is Technically a Christmas Movie, Too

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | December 26, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Politics | December 26, 2018 |


It’s the morning after Christmas, and honestly, there’s not a lot going on in the world. Given the way that things have been going, no news is … good news?

— The government is still shut down. Today is the first full business day of the shutdown, so many of those federal employees and those who benefit from those services will start to feel the inconvenience of it. Congress (or at least parts of it) will return to … talk about not re-opening the government tomorrow. The Democrats aren’t budging on the wall (nor should they), and neither is Trump, so we could be in for a long shutdown. Democrats have no reason to give into Trump’s demands because they are irrational and dumb, and Trump won’t cave because he is irrational and dumb. This thing may go until June.

“Many of those workers have said to me — communicated — stay out until you get the funding for the wall,” Donald Trump lied yesterday. “These federal workers want the wall.” Some 800,000 government workers are affected by the shutdown.

“It’s a disgrace what’s happening in this country,” he added. “But, other than that. I wish everybody a Merry Christmas.”

— Not that it comes as a surprise to anyone, but the family of a Queens podiatrist says that, as a favor to Fred Trump, they wrote a letter claiming that Trump had bone spurs, getting him out of serving in Vietnam. “What he got was access to Fred Trump,” Elysa Braunstein told the NYTimes. “If there was anything wrong in the building, my dad would call and Trump would take care of it immediately. That was the small favor that he got.”

— Ruth Bader Ginsburg has been released from the hospital. She’s recuperating at home now, after having two cancerous nodules removed. There’s no evidence of cancer remaining. Also, RBG is a total badass.

— An 8-year-old Guatemalan boy died in the custody of U.S. Customs and Border Protection. It’s the second child to die in the custody of the agency this month.

— Finally, the stock market — headed toward its worst December since 1931, and having experienced its worst Christmas Eve ever, is hoping for a bounce back this morning. It’s up, like, 125 points this morning, as of this writing. It’s still down 10 percent on the year, and 20 percent since its September peak. It’s almost entirely the fault of the President. Word is, he’s also considering firing Steven Mnuchin. I would like to say it couldn’t get any worse, but a Boeing executive with no military experience is taking over as the Defense Secretary on January 1st, so clearly, it can.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

Header Image Source: Miramax