OK, let’s see here. How did this started? Last week, in the wake of George Floyd’s murder by police and the protests around the country that still continue today, the U.S. Soccer Federation lifted a three-year ban on players kneeling during the National Anthem (like, WTF? Why did that ban even exist? We thought you were better than that, soccer). Anyway, after it lifted, Florida Representative and Rejected gator chum Matt Gaetz felt “triggered” by the news and announced that he would propose legislation to compel the USSF to reverse that policy change or face financial consequences.
Look: All of this ultimately is part of a larger game for Republicans and Trump to take focus off police violence and the pandemic. For the President, it has thus far failed miserably. But Ron Perlman had a really good time with it, and then Ted Cruz got involved, and it devolved into an old-fashioned Twitter war between the unlikeliest of opponents. Let me see if I can follow all of its tentacles. Here’s where it starts:
Gaetz shot back, which merited a response (and a reaction from Ava Duvernay):
Good on Perlman, and especially good on Perlman for not getting into an argument over semantics (his SoA character wasn’t a white nationalist, but he definitely was both an asshole and a racist). The exchange continued here:
And while we’re at it fuckboi, what is this shit about playing your crowd with dog whistles like “Hollywood”, making them think culture is the thing that’s keeping them down? When it’s really you and your greed.— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 14, 2020
Not to get all Petr on you, but really, the problem are the systemic policies that benefit the wealthy, like Gaetz and many in Hollywood, to the detriment of the poor, of which people of color make up a disproportionate number. Also, the racism.
Ya know what, you’re right. A guy who wins a totally gerrymandered district with daddy’s money deserves our deepest admiration. You’re right..I only PLAY scumbags and grifters. You’re the real deal! @mattgaetz— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 14, 2020
Well, OK: Perlman is definitely right about one thing: Matty Gaetz used his father’s money, nepotism, and opportunistically kissing Trump’s ass to win his seat in Florida, but to be fair to Gaetz, it’s not because of gerrymandering. Gaetz is like that overeager anti-Semite who was just waiting for someone like Hitler to come along, but so is much of his district. The Florida panhandle is the dumbest, most racist part of Florida. Gerrymandering is not necessary. Ever been to Pensacola? Holy shit. They voted overwhelmingly for George Wallace for President back in the day. GEORGE WALLACE. Joe Scarborough — the MSNBC host — used to represent this district, and he must have been seen as a deep intellectual.
So, two points Perlman here, but half a point for Gaetz for being right about the gerrymandering, but losing that half a point immediately because, yeah, basically, the panhandle is Alabama, Florida (hence their love of George Wallace).
Try again? Dude, you brought a Holocaust denier to the State Of The Union. Doesn’t get sicker than that. Buzz off punk, it’s past your bedtime. https://t.co/mFRiR9I2jw— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 15, 2020
Here, I assume that Perlman is talking about “ugly on the inside,” because there’s nobody uglier than Jim Jordon, who looked the other way while hundreds of his college students were molested by the team doctor.
This exchange, however, brought out Ted Cruz. Welcome to the party, Ted.
Wait, is this THEE Ted Cruz? Holy shit man! Is this the same guy let little Donnie call his wife A dog and his father an assassin and now kisses his ass? Yo, can I get your autograph man? https://t.co/6QDwCaEkpv— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 15, 2020
Game, set, match: Perlman?
I tell you what teddy boy, since mentioning jim jordan and wrestling is… problematic, why don’t we say fuck him and just make it you & me. I’ll give 50k to Black Lives Matter and you can keep all the tax payer money you were thinking of spending. https://t.co/6QDwCaEkpv— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 15, 2020
Ted Cruz, however, did come back with this weak rejoinder, and I feel like the more attention that is focused on Jordan’s wrestling career, the better.
I get it, you’re rich. But, apparently, soft. You sure seem scared to wrestle Jordan (whom you keep insulting).— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) June 15, 2020
Can’t take the heat? Need to get a manicure? https://t.co/giLnJjZNKr
Evergreen reminder: At least 177 male student-patients were molested by Ohio State University’s Dr. Richard Strauss, many of whom during Jim Jordan’s tenure as a coach of their wrestling team. Many of his former students have said that they told Jordan about the abuses and that he looked the other way.
Header Image Source: Getty Images