Robert Pattinson Saw What You Said About His Batman Body

As the marketing machine kicked off for The Batman, known chaos demon Robert Pattinson decided make a joke to GQ about how he barely worked out for the film. Because the internet is dark and full of terrors, the chudosphere went bananas crying about how Batman should be a roided out manly man along with a bunch of other stupid gendered crap about Pattinson making the character emo or whatever.

In the end, his Batman was good! The movie was… well, the movie was long. (It was fine.) And, now, here we are on the precipice of The Batman Part II, a film that I’ve long maintained would always happen. Yup, it’s practically my calling card, and there’s no need to look back at old articles. Eyes up here.

Anyway, Pattinson sat down with GQ again, but this time about The Odyssey. Naturally, the conversation veered towards The Batman sequel, and Pattinson is not making the same mistake he did with the first movie. He wants everyone to know that he’s so committed to gains that he put a gym in his house.

The home gym, Pattinson said, was to train for The Batman: Part II, which he was supposed to start shooting soon. “And I just heard from the stunt guy the other day. He said, ‘Ooh, 11 weeks of nights.’ I’m like, ‘Excuse me?’ I’m like, ‘No one’s even sent me a schedule.’ ” (As for the gym, he said that after the first Batman came out, everyone was like: ” ‘You didn’t work out at all.’ I worked out every f***ing day. Even after that, I still look like I didn’t work out. I worked out twice a day at, like, three o’clock in the morning.” He blamed the interviews he’d given for the lukewarm reception to his superhero body, including one with me where he said exercise was uncool: “I’m like, It’s just because I said it in an interview. I was trying to sound cool!”)

Will this quiet the haters? Absolutely not. Has Robert Pattinson even been on the internet? Well, he shouldn’t start because it’s stupid. Just the dumbest place you can think of where no one is happy about anything and constantly farting their thoughts into the digital wand.

Case in point, there’s some weirdo trying real hard not to say The Batman: Part II is canceled because its lead actor doesn’t even have a shooting schedule. We should seriously unplug the whole thing and go back to carrier pigeons.