JD Vance's Mommy Wants Their Hometown to Honor Her Special Little Guy

I love my sons. They’re good, sweet little boys. They aren’t perfect; No almost four-year-olds are. Regardless, I will go on and on about how they are such good listeners and sleep through the night. My kids have fantastic manners and are always happy to share their toys with other kids. I have never had to drag them kicking and screaming out of a park/store/etc. I love them so much and have no problem telling you how good they are because they are almost four and not a forty-year-old man who just became Vice President of the United States.

I’ve done my best to avoid writing about political topics in recent weeks because we could all use a break as we burn or prep our passports out of defiance. But when something comes up that needs to be ragged on, I gotta jump in and do so. I held back when Elon Musk’s mommy went on Fox News to tell everyone how special he is. The less we talk about Pete Hegseth’s mommy backtracking on a letter she wrote scolding him the better (the focus should be on the credible accusations of sexual assault). But JD Vance’s mommy getting their hometown to recognize him is too ridiculous not to mock.

“I am just here because I am JD Vance’s mother and as you know he is our new vice president-elect and he thinks of Middletown as his home,” said Vance’s mommy, Beverly Aikins, at a City Council meeting. “I still live here and his sister still lives in Middletown. He’s got two nieces who live here and I just think it would be really nice if we could acknowledge that this is his hometown and put up some signs.” She went on to note how Vance still visits and takes her to dinner so she “humbly” requests the town recognize the new Vice President.

While I don’t think it’s absurd for a hometown to honor a resident who has risen to such a rank as Vice President, having his mommy lead the charge is objectively sad. There is majority support from the Council, and 62% of the town supports Vance. However, it isn’t a unanimous celebration. And, while the school district and City Hall have put out statements celebrating Vance’s win, the town is not jumping to celebrate.

There is a good chance that Middletown will find a way to honor Vance. No matter what, we will know that it took his mommy going and stopping just short of calling her son a “special little guy” to get it done. That is a level of embarrassment reserved for the likes of Seymour Skinner, and even his mother, Agnes, would make sure to note that she shouldn’t be the one stumping for him.