Ben Affleck Is Yelling at Your Kids on 'Fortnite'

Kayleigh called it exactly right: Ben Affleck is a fun interviewee. He’s wildly self-deprecating, and this time around, he’s leaning even more into being an old dad whose ruthlessly dunked on by his kids. Affleck knows what he looks like out there, and he’s not afraid to admit that his children are fully aware of his brand.

Via Variety:

If you’re getting photographed dragging 10 boxes of Dunkin’ Donuts into your house, you may as well shoot a commercial for them.

You have to recognize the value there. That’s the spirit and nature of media and celebrity interaction now. You have to have a sense of humor and be in on the joke with people. Like how I became a meme for “the beleaguered man,” as my daughter calls it.

Affleck’s daughter is right. There has been something weirdly gratifying about watching Ben look like absolute hell while trying to have a coffee or smoke to get through the day. His Dad particles are through the roof, and game recognize game. I spent last week at the beach, and if you asked me to name the highlights of the trip, it’s hands down the daily opportunity to talk about the weather (gorgeous the entire time) and discovering that I actually like Dunkin’s Cold Brew better than the Iced Coffee. My life is a non-stop rollercoaster of thrills.

Of course, Ben had to take things even further. While stopping by Travis and Jason Kelce’s New Heights podcast, he confessed to playing Fortnite, which is freakishly addicting. It got its hooks in Zack Snyder, and God knows, I get sucked in for months at at a time.

Anyway, Affleck thought he was hot sh*t at video games until he learned that middle-schoolers’ brains haven’t been pickled by age and they play from the minute their backpacks hit the floor out until bed. They’re also so mean.

Via IGN:

“I always play games,” he said. “I play first person shooter games, so I think I’m good, and then 12-year-olds just f**k you up. I try to come out and I’m like, ‘Here I come.’ I get killed right away, and then they taunt you, like, ‘You suck. F**k you!’ I end up getting in arguments. ‘F**k you! I don’t suck! I’m a grown man!’”

First things first, Ben: You gotta stick to Zero Build. Our old brains can’t play a shooter and do architecture at the same time. It’s impossible. By the time I try to find the right button, 14 people have shot me because I’m standing completely still. That’s a young man’s game. Second, please tell me you’re masking your voice because somebody’s parents are going to hear you calling Tobin a little sh*t through the TV. “Hey, is that the guy who was the bomb in Phantoms, yo?” they’ll ask before watching their pride and joy call you a racial slur.

Mike, does that really happen in these games? All the time. All the time. A fifth grader said they’d find me in the dream world. It’s terrifying.