Okay, this was a big week for dickbags on the internet, on TV, in movies, and in general life. Let’s get the big source out of the way first. For their bullcrap responses to Caitlyn Jenner’s decision to publicly come out as transgender, f*ck the following:
—Connor Cruise, son of Tom Cruise, who doesn’t believe we as humans should be allowed to care about more than one human being or larger cause at a time. Naturally, our chosen collective cause should be the one he’s passionate about: fish.
—Snoop Dogg. F*ck that guy so hard.
—Those 4Chan dbags who “pranked” Jenner by creating a Change.org petition to get her Olympic medals revoked. And double f*ck all (at the time of writing this) 12,800+ asshats who signed it.
—F*ck this stupid bar for thinking a horrible outdated joke from Ace Ventura would make a hilarious Caitlyn Jenner punchline. Cool joke, dudes.
—Mike Huckabee. Always.
Okay, moving on.
—The weird new villain’s mask for the Scream TV show that’s less Ghostface and more Creepy Porcelain Doll Sex Face.
—The Sister Act remake. Big Trouble in Little China, too, while we’re at it.
—Doug Ellin, creator of Entourage, who says he doesn’t care if “little, bitter guys sitting on their Twitter accounts” don’t like his movie. See, he’s happy with the support of REAL people, the common man, if you will. You know, like LeBron James.
—The Colorado school district, who fired this kitchen worker for giving lunch to a crying, hungry first grader.
—F*ck this $45 water bottle that comes with an app to tell you when you’re thirsty.
—In TV land, f*ck this moment:
—And f*ck this guy:
F*ck him, Jon Snow.