Remember that Ghostbusters Twinkie scene where Egon explained the growth of psychokinetic energy the New York area was about to experience? Well, if the idea of a giant Twinkie — 35 feet long and weighing approximately 600 lbs. — sounds gross,
you ain’t heard nothing, yet.
Hostess has come up with a new tie-in product to coincide with Ghostbusters 2016, and it’s uh…
You see, they’ve changed that delicious “cream” (Enriched Bleached Wheat Flour [Flour, Reduced Iron, B Vitamins (Niacin, Thiamine Mononitrate (B1), Riboflavin (B2), Folic Acid)], Corn Syrup, Sugar, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Water, Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable and/or Animal Shortening (Soybean, Cottonseed and/or Canola Oil, Beef Fat), Whole Eggs, Dextrose. Contains 2% or Less of: Modified Corn Starch, Glucose, Leavenings (Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Baking Soda, Monocalcium Phosphate), Sweet Dairy Whey, Soy Protein Isolate, Calcium and Sodium Caseinate, Salt, Mono and Diglycerides, Polysorbate 60, Soy Lecithin, Soy Flour, Cornstarch, Cellulose Gum, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Sorbic Acid (to Retain Freshness), Yellow 5, Red 40) filling to resemble a certain some
onething no one would ever want to eat,
and they’ve dubbed the new flavor “Key Lime Slime”.
LOOK AT IT; IT’S LIKE IRIDESCENT DICK VOMIT!
Please, ladies, kill it with fire.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go…