Out in the real world, when I’m not writing for Pajiba, I like to think I’m a somewhat respectable person. I have a very professional wife, who often wears suits, even. I have a lovely home, and an adorable child who attends a splendid Jewish Preschool. And sometimes, the upstanding, respectable parents of my son’s classmates will ask, “What do you do for a living?” I will say I’m a movie reviewer, which prompts an awkward discussion that often dovetails into what a “Pajiba” is. Sometimes, but rarely, those upstanding, respectable parents will actually dial up the site on their Interwebs. Let’s assume that one of those parents stumbles upon, say, my Zombieland review, which begins:
Zombie wood, people. Spend 90 minutes in Zombieland, and you will walk out with an all-out pound-a-stranger up against a hospital wall zombie erection. And you will ride that wood until there’s hair in your teeth, blood on the wall, and it’s time to consult a doctor because your four hours are over, motherfucker, and you’re still sporting a full-on zombie chubby.
Well, that’s going to be awkward. And maybe my adorable child doesn’t get a lot of play dates after school because his father is obsessed with sexual metaphors. Unfortunately, not everyone out in the real world always understands the Pajiba sensibility (hell, I’m sure that many of you don’t, either).
But now, ladies and gentlemen, I have a slightly more respectable, less profane, cover identity! Whenever the more straight-laced, conservative folks of the real world ask me what I do, I can now say that I write for a trivia site called LitelySalted.com. If that name sounds familiar to you, it probably should: Until recent months, it was home to a gossip site that our own Stacey Nosek and Jeremy Feist ran.
It’s gotten more than a facelift. Now, it’s a full-on useless trivia extravaganza. It’s even addictive, and hopefully as we improve it over the weeks and months ahead, it’ll become even more addictive. And since I write for it (as does Mr. Prisco), and since many of you like trivia — particularly of the pop-culture variety — there will likely be some cross-promotion.
Starting today, even.
Indeed, I invite you all to head on over and take the first quiz written specifically for Pajiba readers: Name that Movie Quote. I give you 25 Movie Quotes. You name the movie. There will be a prize. A good one, even. The top scorer will receive a DVD or Blu-Ray edition of your choice of Zombieland, (500) Days of Summer, or Iron Man 2 (delivered to your house on the day of release, Sept. 28th), depending on which way you swing. In the case of a tie, a random winner will be selected among the top scorers for the prize.
There is a small catch: You will have to register to play, but it’s a very simple ten-second registration process, as easy as leaving a comment here. It’s definitely superior to the trivia program we used in the past on this site (it loads, for instance).
While you’re over there, feel free to play any of the assorted and growing number of quizzes, which range from themed quizzes to very difficult miscellaneous trivia questions that I generally suck at. There’s even a Pajiba group, should you folks want to join it and compete against one another. Afterwards, come back over here, and tell us how you did in the comments. Those who do poorly will not get fruit cup.