Hollywood Is Remaking 'The Fugitive'? Dial Up the Rage, It's Intervention Time

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | May 13, 2015 |

Real talk time. I know that just yesterday, I was talking about how done I was with bemoaning the Hollywood reborquel trend. I didn’t think a terrible remake of something I loved could actually damage any memories or feelings about those bits of pop culture I held dear. And apparently Mother Film has decided to test me on those proclamations.

Warner Brothers is remaking The Fugitive.

The Fugitive.

I’ve made no secret here of the fact that I believe the 1993 film version of The Fugitive is cinematic perfection. Tommy Lee Jones and Harrison Ford balance humor, action, silence and general insane badassery as to create a perfect storm of suspense. And yes, I know! That movie is itself an adaptation of a CRAZY good and popular TV show. Can you imagine nearly 3/4 of the people in the US loving a show so much that they all tune in at the same time (AT THE SAME TIME! EVERYONE! NO HULUDVRPIRATEBAY!) to watch its finale? Well, that was the final episode of The Fugitive in 1967. So sure, maybe it’s arrogant of me to suggest that the film is such a hallowed treasure that it is untouchable. But you know what? I don’t f*cking care. We’re all allowed one piece of nostalgia that we’re allowed weirdly disproportionate protective outrage over (says the rules I just made up), and this is mine.

Plus, you know who else I think would disapprove? Dr. Richard Kimble. I mean, honestly, don’t you think he’s been through enough? I think that given the option, he would like to de-board this reboot train.

Like, seriously get right off this project.

And I know what you’re saying. You’re saying:

Yes, you’re saying, “Viv, you don’t have to care. You have the option to just not see this movie. If it upsets you that much, you can just ignore it.” WELL I DON’T SEE IT THAT WAY. General disrespect aside, there’s talk of spreading this new reboot into several films. If spread as thin as most unnecessary trilogies, those would be hard for anyone to ignore, let alone a person who movies for a living. And the fear I have of these new remakes getting into my head and corrupting my memories of the original are stronger than is logical, but still very real. So you can say it doesn’t matter all you like. I don’t believe your words.