It’s been a clusterfuck of a few weeks for Sony, eh? Their employee’s confidential data got leaked, resulting in (sure to be the first of many) lawsuits. Amy Pascal was revealed as a wiffle-waffley bad speller with a tendency towards racist statements. They’ve landed firmly at the top of Angelina Jolie’s gold-plated shitlist. Oh, and there’s the thing where terrorist attacks were threatened against theaters playing The Interview, so they pulled it.
But, completely uncynical happy ball of sunshine that I am, I like to find the silver lining in all situations. For example, the Sony hack gave us the Channing Tatum e-mail that will live infamy. (Does everybody love him yet?) And the following emails, from Sony and other studios, exclusively released to Pajiba (I know, right?!) by the hackers themselves, with whom I had a clandestine meeting in the breakfast aisle of Trader Joe’s. Hackers love muesli!
If you think these emails are in any way fake, I’m going to need you to write a five page, single-spaced essay explaining what makes you think Werner Herzog doesn’t love lolcats and Dwayne Johnson doesn’t host poetry nights.