Let's Be Nice And Take A Look Back At The Original 'Road House'

By Brian Richards | Film | March 23, 2024 |

By Brian Richards | Film | March 23, 2024 |

The remake of Road House is now streaming on Amazon Prime Video, a.k.a. the streaming service that wants even more of your money if you don’t want their poorly done commercial breaks interrupting whatever you’re watching. Dustin has already reviewed it, and has written about how the completely unnecessary presence of Conor McGregor is like when Johnny Depp appeared in the most recent Savage x Fenty special, in that he was a massive turd floating in a gorgeous punchbowl, and nearly ruining everyone’s thirst for it.

There have also been debates about the film’s intended release strategy, with Road House 2024 director Doug Liman infuriated that the film is making its debut on streaming instead of in movie theaters (the place where heartbreak feels good, but not nearly as good as falling asleep while doing the Five-Knuckle Shuffle in your seat during a screening of Love Lies Bleeding), while the film’s star, Jake Gyllenhaal, pointed out that it was always intended for the film to debut on the small screen. We also can’t forget to mention that MGM and Amazon Studios, who financed the Road House remake, have been slapped with a lawsuit by R. Lance Hill — who conceived the story and co-wrote the screenplay for the original film — for copyright infringement, and Hill has also accused both studios of using A.I. to complete the film.

But before we all watch the remake, and decide whether or not it was worth watching, let’s take a moment or two to look back at the original version of Road House, which opened in theaters on May 19, 1989.

James Dalton (the late, great Patrick Swayze) is a professional bouncer who is approached by businessman Frank Tilghman (Kevin Tighe) about handling security for his newly purchased bar in Jasper, Missouri called the Double Deuce. Tilghman needs someone to help clean the place up, and put a stop to the customers whose violent behavior and complete lack of Act-Right result in barfights happening on a nightly basis. Dalton agrees to the job, and makes it crystal-clear to the Double Deuce employees upon his arrival that his authority is to be respected. He fires several staff members for theft, dealing drugs on the side, and thinking that having sex with customers on company property during your shift is anything resembling a good idea. He also informs his fellow bouncers about the importance of professionalism, and that violence should be a last resort when dealing with customers who are behaving badly. Unfortunately for Dalton, his biggest obstacle is not the customers, but Brad Wesley (the late Ben Gazzara), a corrupt and powerful businessman who runs the town, and whose nephew was one of the staff members fired by Dalton. When Dalton refuses Wesley’s request to re-hire his nephew, as well as his job offer to work for him instead, he decides to inflict his wrath on the Double Deuce, and the rest of the town. This leaves Dalton struggling with whether he should leave and start over someplace else, or stay and put an end to Wesley’s reign of terror once and for all.

If you’re reading this, there’s a very likely chance that you’ve already seen Road House in its entirety, and you’re fully aware that the film is not a four-star masterpiece. But the best thing about the film (which was directed by Rowdy Herrington, and written by Hilary Henkin and the aforementioned R. Lance Hill) is that it knows it’s not a four-star masterpiece, and that the audience watching this film at home or in a movie theater is expecting a rollicking good time. This is exactly what the film provides, in the form of explosions, fights, beautiful women, more fights, monster trucks, dialogue dripping with over-the-top machismo (“Pain don’t hurt”), a fight that ends with Dalton doing an actual Fatality on his opponent by ripping out his throat with his bare hands, and some good old 1980s homoeroticism. Do you like watching action movies where the main henchman goes up against the hero and says things like “I used to f—k guys like you in prison!” to intimidate him while they fight? Or where the main villain talks about how he actually wants the hero’s ass displayed on his trophy wall with the rest of the taxidermied animals in his house? Then Road House is the movie for you. And that’s only if you’re taking a break from watching Commando, the other 1980s action movie classic with homoeroticism in almost every scene that makes it ten times better.

At its heart, Road House is a western, with Swayze as the gunslinger with a haunted past coming in to clean up the town and save the day. When the audience first meets who the town needs to be saved from, you can’t help but cheer Dalton on as he uses his martial arts skills to take down the bad guys until the Big Bad is the only one left. Gazzara is clearly having a ball with his performance as Brad Wesley, a man who loves doing whatever the hell he wants to whoever he wants, and not suffering any consequences for his actions. Even if it involves driving his sports car in both lanes of the road while singing happily along to “Sh-Boom” by The Chords, and not giving a damn if other vehicles are approaching from the opposite direction.

(FYI: Road House was partly inspired by the 1983 murder of Ken McElroy, a career criminal and attempted murderer who was known as the town bully in his home of Skidmore, Missouri. The case remains unsolved, even though there were at least forty people who were present when McElroy was shot, and the case has inspired several made-for-TV movies. So keep that in mind the next time you watch Road House, and you see Brad Wesley shotgunned to death by Tilghman and the other business owners in Jasper who have grown fed up with his antics, and who all admit to knowing absolutely nothing about what happened to Wesley once the cops show up. Right before everyone bursts into laughter and lives happily ever after as the music of The Jeff Healey Band plays over the closing credits.)

Kelly Lynch plays Dr. Elizabeth Clay, the town doctor who patches up Dalton’s wounds, and ends up falling for him as they get to know one another. Lynch does solid work, but she isn’t given much to do other than flirt with Dalton, wear this dress that looks like a tablecloth from an Italian restaurant that Billy Joel would sing songs about, have sex with Dalton against a brick wall in his house (a sex scene that has resulted in Lynch and her husband being trolled by Bill Murray for 25 years), yell at him for resorting to violence in dealing with Brad Wesley, and then get kidnapped by Brad Wesley so that the inevitable final battle will happen at the end of the movie.

There are many reasons why Road House has obtained a devoted fanbase over the years, and it’s safe to say that one of the top reasons for that is Sam Elliott and his cooler-than-a-polar-bear’s-pajamas performance as Wade Garrett, Dalton’s mentor and best friend. Wade is the type of man that other men would have several drinks with after kicking plenty of ass alongside one another in a barfight, and who women would happily take home for a night or three after being charmed by his demeanor and his unforgettable voice that, in the words of the lovely and amazing hosts of Thirst Aid Kit, sounds like a steak that is cooking over an open fire. (If Dalton wasn’t in the picture, it would probably be Wade sweeping Dr. Clay off her feet instead.) It also doesn’t hurt that Sam Elliott in this film is just as easy on the eyes as Swayze, and depending on who you ask, he’s even sexier in comparison.

See what I mean? Even this GIF of Wade tying his hair back is enough to make you want to bite your bottom lip.

Last but never least, there is the one and only Patrick Swayze as Dalton. He’s as charming, kindhearted, and sexy as we would expect from almost any character being played by Swayze, and he’s also tough but fair, cool under pressure, and highly disciplined while expecting that same discipline and patience from his colleagues. Dalton is all too familiar with what can happen when he loses control over his killer instinct, and it’s something that he takes very seriously. He finally reaches his boiling point with Wesley when he goes after Wade and Dr. Clay, and the level of destruction that Dalton brings to his doorstep is scarier than any monster truck.

Road House got mixed reviews upon its theatrical release, but was a success at the box office, and its popularity continued to grow once the film arrived on home video and cable. It also inspired Road House 2, a direct-to-DVD sequel starring Jonathan Schaech, a DEA agent who is the son of Dalton, and who is determined to avenge his father’s death while also protecting his uncle’s bar from the drug dealers trying to take it over.

It was even adapted as a stage play in 2004, and was called Road House: The Stage Version Of The Cinema Classic That Starred Patrick Swayze, Except This One Stars Taimak From The 80’s Cult Classic “The Last Dragon” Wearing a Blonde Mullet Wig.

(No, I am not making any of this up.)

Taimak (who played Leroy Greene in The Last Dragon) played the role of Dalton, complete with blonde mulleted wig. From Playbill:

The production is billed as “completely kinetic” with chase scenes, explosions and action being created on miniature sets with a videographer filming and projecting live images on a large screen. Foley artists are will create sound effects live on stage.

Timothy Haskell directs and adapts the screenplay, which is a word-for-word lift of the script, with some scenes deleted.

“I think ‘Road House’ fans will really dig this but if they go thinking they are going to see the movie on stage, they won’t get that,” he told Playbill On-Line. “I’m taking the character archetypes — the hero, the bad guy, the slut, the stupid girlfriend dependent on the hero, the ‘gay’ villain — and heightening them with the intention of how ridiculous they are. I’m spoofing why these elements work in a movie.”

And of course, the animated series Family Guy had several gags devoted to Peter Griffin’s love of the film, and even got Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House to be a part of it.

Whether you choose to welcome Road House (Prime Video’s Version) with open arms, or scoff because this is yet another remake that nobody asked for, its existence won’t stop you from continuing to watch and appreciate the original Road House, and acknowledge both Patrick Swayze’s performance, and everything else about the film that still makes it memorable after all these years. I haven’t watched the remake yet, so excuse me as I start placing bets on whether or not Conor McGregor feels the need to tell Jake Gyllenhaal all about his sex life behind bars.

Road House (the 1989 version) is streaming on Amazon Prime Video and Hulu.